xyzzysqrl

I've been listening to a lot of ridiculous metal lately, thank you Spotify and Gloryhammer and etc etc.

In the shower tonight, I started humming a bit, and thinking back about E3 I decided to put a few words to the tune.

Din-o-saurs.
Din-o-saurs-with!
Dino-o-saurs-with-LASER-BEAMS...

The thought stuck with me as I got out of the shower, and I finally decided... what the heck, let's write it down.

The police arrived ten minutes late
the scientist threw wide the gate
And through it stomped the giant feet of history

His plot was diabolical
the cost was astronomical
The details of his scheme forever fogged in mystery

But in the streets there came loud screams
Something that they had never dreamed
Shoulder cannons charged and teeth bared to the sky!

Dinosaurs with laser beams, their claws tear up the asphalt
Dinosaurs with laser beams, photons light the night
Stimulated emission focused to a gleaming laser blade assault
Ancient cyborg beasts of shining chrome, an impossible sight!

The terror-cyber-doom-brigade
Cross a bridge, break down a gate
Bite at the grass with teeth kinetic

These beasts of feather and technology
Pacifistic herbivores, lost in modern day
Their battle gear is purely aesthetic

[guitar]

They're very sorry
about
the asphalt

[keyboard and also guitar]

Dinosaurs with laser beams, they respond to our queries
Dinosaurs with laser beams, dignified and commanding
Paleontologists are working with them to confirm some theories
Our prehistoric cyborg friends open new paths to understanding
Each other's minds

I think the scansion is all over the place because I wasn't working to an actual tune. Probably I would have to mangle and rewrite that if I were trying to formalize it. But it's good off the cuff.

I dunno. A few dozen more and maybe I've got concept album material.

[EDIT: If you want this concept played totally 100% straight with songs about dinosaurs fighting to protect the holy land, an actual metal band has you covered.]

[RETURN OF EDIT: A single minute of singing and my voice has gone all squeedlie. I think I tense my throat too much and put my uvula between my vocal cords or something. I know I do SOMETHING with my uvula that isn't supposed to be done with the poor fleshbag. It tickles.]