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xyzzysqrlWith Kingdom Hearts 1 finished and Chain of Memories ... uhm, glanced at briefly... I naturally felt it was wise to hop on down the line to Kingdom Hearts 2.
Ah, Kingdom Hearts 2 is where everything built up so far cascades off the rails into a glorious mess. I love it so much, but I know there's still people pissed that it turned into a series about whacking dudes in black coats instead of Disney villains.
Let's just drop to the cut.
[EDIT 1: Added a bunch of worlds on Feb 4th.]
[EDIT 2: And more on 2/7]
From the Opening to Sora
God. God.
So there's this kid Roxas, right, and the universe literally hates him. Things he knows he did right turn out to be wrong. Possessions he had vanish the moment he stops looking at them, or poof right out of his hands. He sees and hears things other people can't. Monsters come out of nowhere, aimed at him. An aggressive older man loudly declares that Roxas is alternately his best friend or his "mission target" and tries to set him on fire.
A self-described witch shyly informs him that he shouldn't actually exist, because he's a "Nobody". They really want Sora, the kid Roxas dreams about every night. Sora's the CORRECT one.
Roxas is a mistake. Everything about him existing is some kind of fucked up mistake.
It's just assumed that Roxas will die for Sora. For this kid he's never met, to fix everything. So Sora's memories can be complete, and Roxas can ... just stop being a problem.
When Roxas does this, Sora pops out of his memory tube from the end of Chain of Memories and instantly starts bouncing around with Donald and Goofy, bright and happy as ever. No angst here, this boat runs on smiles!
Welcome to Kingdom Hearts 2, where our motto is "Fuck the Nobodies!"
I cannot articulate how -bad- I feel for Roxas here. For Namine the witch, too, since she was instantly in the trash heap with him the moment she outlived her usefulness. Man. ... Okay moving on.
Land of Dragons
I mean, land of dragon. Mushu is not really the most impressive rep dragonwise, but we're already seeing some differences in how stuff runs in KH2. We get direct references to KH1's summon mechanic and we see the way things are set up: Rush through the movie plot on the first visit to a world, then later come back and get the KH2 plot done in that world.
As such I'm gonna have to keep revisiting worlds more than I did in previous note-takings. Eh, it'll keep me busy.
Beast's Castle
Kind of an inspired choice, having you fight the actual CGI ballroom (possessed version) as a boss fight. And it's a little weird that "Beast and Belle have relationship issues" is our second Disney visit. Sora tries to play relationship advisor but he's like a 13 year old in a 16 year old's body. It just doesn't work.
Olympus Coliseum
*deep sigh* That fanfare.
But! Hey, it's Hades and the Underworld, and... Auron. Who REALLY WORKS here in spite of apparently being the "worst of the worst"? I don't get that part. I know KH continuity for the Final Fantasy crew doesn't go the way it does in other games, but Auron as a villain? Nobody is buying that, least of all Auron.
I was only yelled at to "GETUPONTHEHYDRASBACK" like twice. Is Final Mix glitched?
Disney Castle/Timeless River
"I always liked you." I found myself saying aloud in my room. "You had a weird dignity and a fantastic hat. Even if you're likely to never show up in a major role again, I'm glad you're here."
Clara Cluck did not respond, because she was a polygonal character in black and white making a cameo appearance in a video game. Timeless River does that to me, it makes me nostalgic for the really EARLY Disney cartoons, the madcap oddities set to music.
Even Sora turns into basically a Tezuka character, which is hilarious and appropriate. And it's, again, a really cool and fun idea to put Modern Villain Pete up against Half-Decent Gruff Grump Old-Style Pete.
Still, if Kingdom Hearts is kind of a celebration of Disney history to some degree, I'm glad it celebrates all of it, all the way back.
Atlantica
Oh this is happening. I'm not good at music games, but I really respect them trying to do something different and weird with it. I'm not sure if they succeeded, but hey.
Port Royal
EEGAH TEXTURES.
Ahem. Someone LOVED Pirates, I guess, because this was the most lavish, in-depth coverage KH2 has given any movie plot so far. Straight up covered every inch of the film. The gimmick of only being able to beat enemy pirates when moonlight shines on them is -pretty good-.
Agrabah
The action. The people.
Snark aside... this first trip to Agrabah just feels like it's there to re-introduce you to the characters. One thing I'll say is that everyone in this game is so much more LIVELY than KH1, more animated, their character models look better...
For that matter, the maps are SO much better designed. Agrabah is a lovely sprawl of markets here instead of four boxes connected to each other.
Halloween Town
EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE
Just like KH1, this is one of my favorite worlds here. And you get to go to Christmastown and meet Sandy Claws and Sora is ADORABLE. And we learn that Riku told him Santa wasn't real, which is exactly the kind of smug dick move one expects from Riku.
Pride Lands
Aheh.
Yeah I'm a damn furry okay.
Anyway in this one Sora learns that lions can drift! And ... not a lot else. This is really Simba's show.
Rafiki is a goddamn creeper though.
Space Paranoids
Ansem's password security is on fricking POINT, let me tell you. His computer password is the seven names of the Princesses of Heart, some of which are multiple words long. That's ridiculous. That's like having "Picard Riker Worf Geordi Data Troi Crusher" as your Netflix login.
Note to self, change Netflix login.
Anyway this is one of my favorite worlds because it's TRON! Fricking TRON is here! He fights for the Users, even if the users are weird spikey-haired kids and walking talking animals. You also get to light cycles! And there's Wendy Carlos music!
Man I love this world.
And The Rest
This will cover revisits and such.
The 1000 Heartless Battle: Still really cool, if a little tedious once you get the point. Goofy's death scene is so tragic. (And so fun to show people.) Generally nice to chill with the Final Fantasy crew again.
Land of Dragons 2: Not that interesting.
Ah, Kingdom Hearts 2 is where everything built up so far cascades off the rails into a glorious mess. I love it so much, but I know there's still people pissed that it turned into a series about whacking dudes in black coats instead of Disney villains.
Let's just drop to the cut.
[EDIT 1: Added a bunch of worlds on Feb 4th.]
[EDIT 2: And more on 2/7]
From the Opening to Sora
God. God.
So there's this kid Roxas, right, and the universe literally hates him. Things he knows he did right turn out to be wrong. Possessions he had vanish the moment he stops looking at them, or poof right out of his hands. He sees and hears things other people can't. Monsters come out of nowhere, aimed at him. An aggressive older man loudly declares that Roxas is alternately his best friend or his "mission target" and tries to set him on fire.
A self-described witch shyly informs him that he shouldn't actually exist, because he's a "Nobody". They really want Sora, the kid Roxas dreams about every night. Sora's the CORRECT one.
Roxas is a mistake. Everything about him existing is some kind of fucked up mistake.
It's just assumed that Roxas will die for Sora. For this kid he's never met, to fix everything. So Sora's memories can be complete, and Roxas can ... just stop being a problem.
When Roxas does this, Sora pops out of his memory tube from the end of Chain of Memories and instantly starts bouncing around with Donald and Goofy, bright and happy as ever. No angst here, this boat runs on smiles!
Welcome to Kingdom Hearts 2, where our motto is "Fuck the Nobodies!"
I cannot articulate how -bad- I feel for Roxas here. For Namine the witch, too, since she was instantly in the trash heap with him the moment she outlived her usefulness. Man. ... Okay moving on.
Land of Dragons
I mean, land of dragon. Mushu is not really the most impressive rep dragonwise, but we're already seeing some differences in how stuff runs in KH2. We get direct references to KH1's summon mechanic and we see the way things are set up: Rush through the movie plot on the first visit to a world, then later come back and get the KH2 plot done in that world.
As such I'm gonna have to keep revisiting worlds more than I did in previous note-takings. Eh, it'll keep me busy.
Beast's Castle
Kind of an inspired choice, having you fight the actual CGI ballroom (possessed version) as a boss fight. And it's a little weird that "Beast and Belle have relationship issues" is our second Disney visit. Sora tries to play relationship advisor but he's like a 13 year old in a 16 year old's body. It just doesn't work.
Olympus Coliseum
*deep sigh* That fanfare.
But! Hey, it's Hades and the Underworld, and... Auron. Who REALLY WORKS here in spite of apparently being the "worst of the worst"? I don't get that part. I know KH continuity for the Final Fantasy crew doesn't go the way it does in other games, but Auron as a villain? Nobody is buying that, least of all Auron.
I was only yelled at to "GETUPONTHEHYDRASBACK" like twice. Is Final Mix glitched?
Disney Castle/Timeless River
"I always liked you." I found myself saying aloud in my room. "You had a weird dignity and a fantastic hat. Even if you're likely to never show up in a major role again, I'm glad you're here."
Clara Cluck did not respond, because she was a polygonal character in black and white making a cameo appearance in a video game. Timeless River does that to me, it makes me nostalgic for the really EARLY Disney cartoons, the madcap oddities set to music.
Even Sora turns into basically a Tezuka character, which is hilarious and appropriate. And it's, again, a really cool and fun idea to put Modern Villain Pete up against Half-Decent Gruff Grump Old-Style Pete.
Still, if Kingdom Hearts is kind of a celebration of Disney history to some degree, I'm glad it celebrates all of it, all the way back.
Atlantica
Oh this is happening. I'm not good at music games, but I really respect them trying to do something different and weird with it. I'm not sure if they succeeded, but hey.
Port Royal
EEGAH TEXTURES.
Ahem. Someone LOVED Pirates, I guess, because this was the most lavish, in-depth coverage KH2 has given any movie plot so far. Straight up covered every inch of the film. The gimmick of only being able to beat enemy pirates when moonlight shines on them is -pretty good-.
Agrabah
The action. The people.
Snark aside... this first trip to Agrabah just feels like it's there to re-introduce you to the characters. One thing I'll say is that everyone in this game is so much more LIVELY than KH1, more animated, their character models look better...
For that matter, the maps are SO much better designed. Agrabah is a lovely sprawl of markets here instead of four boxes connected to each other.
Halloween Town
EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE
Just like KH1, this is one of my favorite worlds here. And you get to go to Christmastown and meet Sandy Claws and Sora is ADORABLE. And we learn that Riku told him Santa wasn't real, which is exactly the kind of smug dick move one expects from Riku.
Pride Lands
Aheh.
Yeah I'm a damn furry okay.
Anyway in this one Sora learns that lions can drift! And ... not a lot else. This is really Simba's show.
Rafiki is a goddamn creeper though.
Space Paranoids
Ansem's password security is on fricking POINT, let me tell you. His computer password is the seven names of the Princesses of Heart, some of which are multiple words long. That's ridiculous. That's like having "Picard Riker Worf Geordi Data Troi Crusher" as your Netflix login.
Note to self, change Netflix login.
Anyway this is one of my favorite worlds because it's TRON! Fricking TRON is here! He fights for the Users, even if the users are weird spikey-haired kids and walking talking animals. You also get to light cycles! And there's Wendy Carlos music!
Man I love this world.
And The Rest
This will cover revisits and such.
The 1000 Heartless Battle: Still really cool, if a little tedious once you get the point. Goofy's death scene is so tragic. (And so fun to show people.) Generally nice to chill with the Final Fantasy crew again.
Land of Dragons 2: Not that interesting.
