SQRLMOG LIVEBLOG: PC Gaming at E3
Jun. 11th, 2018 07:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xyzzysqrlLook, I'll level with you: You can skip this one. It was like a tranquilizer dart in the neck, and then a second one in the butt, and then three more randomly scattered around the body.
The PC Gaming show has a lady in overalls and a duck fursuiter asking us PC gaming trivia. We're off to a roaring start.
The Magic of PC Gaming is about breaking the limits and rewriting the rules, as seen by this footage of various Doom and Skyrim mods.
The dude who comes out introduces himself by his twitter handle. So much for watching anyone -famous- lose their mood... Oh, christ, we're calling everybody by their twitter handle here at PC Gaming Central.
First game! "Satis-Factory", a game about... building stuff on an alien planet... this looks exactly like No Man's Sky but with more conveyor belts. You and your space friends land on alien worlds and just industrialize the absolute flying fuck out of them.
"You're an engineer from earth. Your goal is to build an enormous machine. To do that, you need to build a lot of smaller machines. So you'll need to harvest the trees and resources, and replace them with nice convenient concrete."
"Neo Cab is about being a driver for hire... perhaps the last of your kind, in a giant automated city." Visual novel TRON aesthetics, ends with a note to "STAY HUMAN". *lipnoises*
1000-player Battle Royale. "Maverick's Proving Grounds".
*lipnoises continue, grow more elaborate* this sure is cgi of a dude running through a forest for like four uninterrupted minutes
The CEO of the company making it comes out. He is a beautiful baby boy. He cannot be older than nine. Someone collect this child, he wandered onstage at E3 somehow.
"A game that showcases the POWER of MODDING. The Forgotten City: A reimagining of the first mod in history to win a National Writer's Guild award."
It's a game about walking through dark hallways and old sewers with a flashlight. "If even one person here commits a sin, everyone will die." WELP.
"A blast from the past: An entirely new game in the Star Control series. Star Control Origins."
*extend middle finger, sit expressionlessly* (For a VARIETY OF REASONS I do not like Stardock and I particularly do not like Brad Wardell.)
nugh this looks dreamworks as dick. I wish I could enjoy it, but no, sorry.
"Hunt - Showdown" It's, uh... multiplayer deathmatch. Okay.
Arcangel Hellfire. "We were trialing our single player mech game but people kept telling us: I want it multiplayer and I want it off rails. And we said: Well, that's a different game. So we made this instead." yes you sure did. *thin smile* very well done.
The Sinking City. An open-world investigation/detective game from Frogware, makers of the recent Sherlock Holmes games. Lovecraftian horror with no handholding and lots of puzzles and clue-searching. I'll look into it. "There are many different people in the city. Poor people, rich people. They are all united by one thing: Fear." THE GREAT EQUALIZER.
Warframe, the game about playing as a rubber-suit space ninja. I admit, I like Warframe. I'm just terrible at it and I won't play with anyone else. ... Huh, Warframe has fishing?
The community manager for Warframe has a REALLY cool tattoo but they keep covering it with logos or banners.
Sega general trailer. Shenmue 1&2, Shining Resonance Refrain, Yakuza Kiwami. Valkyria Chronicles 4. Yakuza 0. ... HEY, YAKUZA ON PC, BOMBSHELL Y'ALL THAT'S GREAT. I'm gonna try to get them all on PS4 but niiice.
Killing Floor 2. I don't care. "Circus freaks crossed with zombies and steampunk", weapon upgrade system. That'll excite someone. Not me.
An open-world action RPG where you play as a shark eating humans at a resort town. There are shark skill trees. Grow bigger teeth, survive briefly on land. Full single player campaign. "Man-Eater". Has all the subtle touch of Sharknado. I didn't know I wanted this but I want this.
Three games from "Untitled Publisher". Their real actual business name. "Bravery Network Online", a charmingly drawn turn-based fighting game...
..a ... farming RPG called Morning Star where you grow hacking software for your laptop?
And a 2D chunky pixel platformer/shooter that looks like retro Aliens-esqe PC game "Abuse". Called Overwhelm, on Steam now.
Jurassic World: Evolution. Build a dinosaur-stocked tourist trap and try to resist the temptation to just rip down all the fences and set the big sexy dinosaurs loose. God, I've missed listening to Jeff Goldblum ramble aimlessly about chaos.
Insomniac Games announces a PC game!! Stormland. ...it's a VR-only FPS. ...it's real pretty. *kick at carpet* i didn't want it anyway. You play as a sad cute robot. Like Wall-E with legs. Who shoots other robots, because I think what we all agree held Wall-E back was his inability to just start blasting people.
An indie noir game about a cab driver wrapped up in a murder mystery. Looks like it's about picking up suspects and interrogating them while you drive them around. Night Call. Looks interesting.
"Sable", which looks like a french comic book in motion. VERY distinct art style. "We have the entire core development team on stage." It's two guys. "Open world desert exploration. Not about leveling up, not about combat. Sable is a girl on a desert world, and she travels to learn about the culture and history of her sand-choked world."
Star Citizen shows up at yet another E3. Call me when it's done.
PC hardware chat. nhh. oh god I don't care about MONITORS.
Genesis Alpha One. More "build a base in space and explore for resources" stuff. The gimmick of this one is you can capture aliens, steal their DNA, and then graft their DNA into your crew members to make hybrid alien/human people because... ... because I guess it's boring in space.
Don't Starve Hamlet. Uh... I don't remember a giant snake in Hamlet. Hamlet and the Chamber of Secrets, maybe.
More Just Cause 4. I'm already a little tired of looking at slow pans over scenery from this game and it's only been like a weekend. "Everything you enjoyed from Just Cause 3 is back, just better."
"Hey, believe it or not? E3 hasn't started yet. Starts TOMORROW and runs for three days." don't you threaten me
Four-player shooter The Walking Dead game. How long is this show again? Can I go? I've got Sony to watch later, guys.
Telltale's Walking Dead. ...for real, is this nearly over? You're down at the bottom of the barrels. You're into the Ws. Do you have a couple Z-games to announce?
The voice actress for Clem seems to really like her a lot. I would say it'll be sad when she inevitably dies horribly but I'm already numb to it because everyone's going to die and nothing good is going to happen and it's all going to be terrible.
"An action roguelike where every pixel is physically simulated!" those sure are some particles. Noita, this one.
Two Point Hospital a game about running a hospital and it's ... hospital themed and oh my GOD get off the goddamn stage. End. End. End.
"You see, if the monobrow disease advances too far, it will actually leave the body and infest the hospital."
"Are they multiplying?!"
"In DIRTY places yes."
end. end. end. end. end.
"Now, our second Battle Royale game of the afternoon..." i'm dying squirtle
Always a good sign: A developer describes a class as "Well, THIS asshole..."
Ooblets is still an adorable Pokemon/Harvest Moon/interior decorating simulator, now with dance battles instead of pokemon fighting. It was actually good enough to warm my heart a little.
Strategy game Anno 1880. Exactly one person clapped four times. "You start in, uh, sort of medieval settlements..."
*eyes 1880 date*
"Go to our webshite, design a ship variant for us." ... that was supposed to be site but I'm leaving it.
ANOTHER BATTLE ROYALE SHEEZUS CHRISTMAS but this one's a "top down isometric" game that looks like fucking cyanide and happiness
"Our final trailer" THANK YOU
"is for Hitman 2" BYE
HOPES
None.
EXPECTATIONS
None.
HYPE
Somehow still let down.
The PC Gaming show has a lady in overalls and a duck fursuiter asking us PC gaming trivia. We're off to a roaring start.
The Magic of PC Gaming is about breaking the limits and rewriting the rules, as seen by this footage of various Doom and Skyrim mods.
The dude who comes out introduces himself by his twitter handle. So much for watching anyone -famous- lose their mood... Oh, christ, we're calling everybody by their twitter handle here at PC Gaming Central.
First game! "Satis-Factory", a game about... building stuff on an alien planet... this looks exactly like No Man's Sky but with more conveyor belts. You and your space friends land on alien worlds and just industrialize the absolute flying fuck out of them.
"You're an engineer from earth. Your goal is to build an enormous machine. To do that, you need to build a lot of smaller machines. So you'll need to harvest the trees and resources, and replace them with nice convenient concrete."
"Neo Cab is about being a driver for hire... perhaps the last of your kind, in a giant automated city." Visual novel TRON aesthetics, ends with a note to "STAY HUMAN". *lipnoises*
1000-player Battle Royale. "Maverick's Proving Grounds".
*lipnoises continue, grow more elaborate* this sure is cgi of a dude running through a forest for like four uninterrupted minutes
The CEO of the company making it comes out. He is a beautiful baby boy. He cannot be older than nine. Someone collect this child, he wandered onstage at E3 somehow.
"A game that showcases the POWER of MODDING. The Forgotten City: A reimagining of the first mod in history to win a National Writer's Guild award."
It's a game about walking through dark hallways and old sewers with a flashlight. "If even one person here commits a sin, everyone will die." WELP.
"A blast from the past: An entirely new game in the Star Control series. Star Control Origins."
*extend middle finger, sit expressionlessly* (For a VARIETY OF REASONS I do not like Stardock and I particularly do not like Brad Wardell.)
nugh this looks dreamworks as dick. I wish I could enjoy it, but no, sorry.
"Hunt - Showdown" It's, uh... multiplayer deathmatch. Okay.
Arcangel Hellfire. "We were trialing our single player mech game but people kept telling us: I want it multiplayer and I want it off rails. And we said: Well, that's a different game. So we made this instead." yes you sure did. *thin smile* very well done.
The Sinking City. An open-world investigation/detective game from Frogware, makers of the recent Sherlock Holmes games. Lovecraftian horror with no handholding and lots of puzzles and clue-searching. I'll look into it. "There are many different people in the city. Poor people, rich people. They are all united by one thing: Fear." THE GREAT EQUALIZER.
Warframe, the game about playing as a rubber-suit space ninja. I admit, I like Warframe. I'm just terrible at it and I won't play with anyone else. ... Huh, Warframe has fishing?
The community manager for Warframe has a REALLY cool tattoo but they keep covering it with logos or banners.
Sega general trailer. Shenmue 1&2, Shining Resonance Refrain, Yakuza Kiwami. Valkyria Chronicles 4. Yakuza 0. ... HEY, YAKUZA ON PC, BOMBSHELL Y'ALL THAT'S GREAT. I'm gonna try to get them all on PS4 but niiice.
Killing Floor 2. I don't care. "Circus freaks crossed with zombies and steampunk", weapon upgrade system. That'll excite someone. Not me.
An open-world action RPG where you play as a shark eating humans at a resort town. There are shark skill trees. Grow bigger teeth, survive briefly on land. Full single player campaign. "Man-Eater". Has all the subtle touch of Sharknado. I didn't know I wanted this but I want this.
Three games from "Untitled Publisher". Their real actual business name. "Bravery Network Online", a charmingly drawn turn-based fighting game...
..a ... farming RPG called Morning Star where you grow hacking software for your laptop?
And a 2D chunky pixel platformer/shooter that looks like retro Aliens-esqe PC game "Abuse". Called Overwhelm, on Steam now.
Jurassic World: Evolution. Build a dinosaur-stocked tourist trap and try to resist the temptation to just rip down all the fences and set the big sexy dinosaurs loose. God, I've missed listening to Jeff Goldblum ramble aimlessly about chaos.
Insomniac Games announces a PC game!! Stormland. ...it's a VR-only FPS. ...it's real pretty. *kick at carpet* i didn't want it anyway. You play as a sad cute robot. Like Wall-E with legs. Who shoots other robots, because I think what we all agree held Wall-E back was his inability to just start blasting people.
An indie noir game about a cab driver wrapped up in a murder mystery. Looks like it's about picking up suspects and interrogating them while you drive them around. Night Call. Looks interesting.
"Sable", which looks like a french comic book in motion. VERY distinct art style. "We have the entire core development team on stage." It's two guys. "Open world desert exploration. Not about leveling up, not about combat. Sable is a girl on a desert world, and she travels to learn about the culture and history of her sand-choked world."
Star Citizen shows up at yet another E3. Call me when it's done.
PC hardware chat. nhh. oh god I don't care about MONITORS.
Genesis Alpha One. More "build a base in space and explore for resources" stuff. The gimmick of this one is you can capture aliens, steal their DNA, and then graft their DNA into your crew members to make hybrid alien/human people because... ... because I guess it's boring in space.
Don't Starve Hamlet. Uh... I don't remember a giant snake in Hamlet. Hamlet and the Chamber of Secrets, maybe.
More Just Cause 4. I'm already a little tired of looking at slow pans over scenery from this game and it's only been like a weekend. "Everything you enjoyed from Just Cause 3 is back, just better."
"Hey, believe it or not? E3 hasn't started yet. Starts TOMORROW and runs for three days." don't you threaten me
Four-player shooter The Walking Dead game. How long is this show again? Can I go? I've got Sony to watch later, guys.
Telltale's Walking Dead. ...for real, is this nearly over? You're down at the bottom of the barrels. You're into the Ws. Do you have a couple Z-games to announce?
The voice actress for Clem seems to really like her a lot. I would say it'll be sad when she inevitably dies horribly but I'm already numb to it because everyone's going to die and nothing good is going to happen and it's all going to be terrible.
"An action roguelike where every pixel is physically simulated!" those sure are some particles. Noita, this one.
Two Point Hospital a game about running a hospital and it's ... hospital themed and oh my GOD get off the goddamn stage. End. End. End.
"You see, if the monobrow disease advances too far, it will actually leave the body and infest the hospital."
"Are they multiplying?!"
"In DIRTY places yes."
end. end. end. end. end.
"Now, our second Battle Royale game of the afternoon..." i'm dying squirtle
Always a good sign: A developer describes a class as "Well, THIS asshole..."
Ooblets is still an adorable Pokemon/Harvest Moon/interior decorating simulator, now with dance battles instead of pokemon fighting. It was actually good enough to warm my heart a little.
Strategy game Anno 1880. Exactly one person clapped four times. "You start in, uh, sort of medieval settlements..."
*eyes 1880 date*
"Go to our webshite, design a ship variant for us." ... that was supposed to be site but I'm leaving it.
ANOTHER BATTLE ROYALE SHEEZUS CHRISTMAS but this one's a "top down isometric" game that looks like fucking cyanide and happiness
"Our final trailer" THANK YOU
"is for Hitman 2" BYE
HOPES
None.
EXPECTATIONS
None.
HYPE
Somehow still let down.
no subject
Date: 2018-06-12 09:35 pm (UTC)I've heard good things about Factorio but... it's still in Early Access and I don't play games until they're officially launched. -.- Infini-Factory was pretty awesome, so Satis-Factory has a high bar to reach.