SQRLMOG LIVEBLOG: Square-Enix at E3
Jun. 11th, 2018 01:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xyzzysqrlI come to you this afternoon after several hours of poor sleep to bring you the wonders of Square-Enix's presser. I bet it's gonna be Kingdom Hearts'd all up to hell and back. LET'S WATCH TOGETHER.
Squeenix starts off with Beau Billingsly! Or it sounds like him.
They lead off with Tomb Raider: Lara Croft's Inhumanity To Man. It's an entire cutscene of her looking absolutely terrified while everything goes wrong. The developer talks for a while about Lara "becoming one with the jungle". If this is secretly the origin story of Poison Ivy I'm suddenly kind of interested almost?
No it's the story of Lara Croft becoming Green Arrow and just sniping people in the base of the skull and then rolling around in mud Predator-style and knifing the hell out of an entire army platoon. Man, I'm so glad Tomb Raider got back to what the series is REALLY about.
*gas explosion* *dude screams in agony as he burns to death in a writhing heap* *cut back to beaming, proud developer* "I hope you like what you see."
Lara Croft has been "becoming the tomb raider she's destined to be" for three goddamn games, can we have a game where she's actually the tomb raider she USED to be, nine damn games ago?
FFXIV Stormblood trailer. Looks like basic "Hey, we're doing Ivalice now by the way, and we have our own storyline, and LOTS of bosses. It's awesome." stuff.
FFXIV/Monster Hunter World crossover stuff. You know what? I'd love to fight some of those bosses in FFXIV's battle engine.
Life is Strange: You're A Child Superhero again. New footage. Yeah I'm playing this but god it's going to emotionally destroy me.
"Not just one town or set of characters, Captain Spirit is our way of introducing players to the expanded Life is Strange universe." Anthology series are hard.
DRAGON QUEST XI YEAHHHH. Bright colorful Toriyama characters talking about cruel fate and destiny never gets old to me. They're really going hard on "for some reason, most people won't believe you're the hero, but you're absolutely a Luminary hero of Light and you can Destroy the Darkness" and it's all gloriously JRPG and ... y'all know I love Dragon Quest I don't have to keep going on about this. I am 10,000% down for making a rainbow dragon out of pool balls or whatever's happening here.
Something new I don't know? Featuring knights and swords and the word "Oversoul" used a lot.
"On the day of judgement, Gaia turned against mankind. Humanity strikes back."
Platinum Games. Babylon's Fall I think it said.
More Nier Automata. I'm glad more people will have a chance to play this.
Switch logo... it's Octopath.
More Just Cause 4. This version of the trailer is set to LOUD DUBSTEP and includes PLANE LASERS and TORNADOS and... yeah this still looks fun to me.
"We're taking destruction and physics simulation to a new level." Oh, you know exactly what to say to me~
"Customizable grappling hook, with booster rockets and airlifters." Ooh, stop. I'm tingly.
Something New York-y and noir as hell, featuring everyone's favorite superhero: HOODIE MAN. I think Hoodie Man may be deaf? Anyway he beats the crap out of punks. "The Quiet Man." It's apparently a sequel to The Bouncer. (That is sarcasm, it is not really a Bouncer sequel.)
Here's Kingdom Hearts 3. We all hype enough for this yet? Yeah thought so. Sora sounds so WEIRD now. ... !!! COOKING MINIGAME WITH REMY I MISSED THAT BEFORE SOMEHOW ... god aqua still breaks my heart
Uh. Was that it?
...that was it.
HOPES
FF16? Nope.
Anything new? Uh... the hoodie man? And the Babylon Rogues. I mean, Babylon's Fall.
Anything cool? ...mh.
EXPECTATIONS
Roll around in nostalgia? No.
Ports to the Switch? No.
Early Final Fantasy Collection? No.
Hype Level: 2/10. What even was that?
Squeenix starts off with Beau Billingsly! Or it sounds like him.
They lead off with Tomb Raider: Lara Croft's Inhumanity To Man. It's an entire cutscene of her looking absolutely terrified while everything goes wrong. The developer talks for a while about Lara "becoming one with the jungle". If this is secretly the origin story of Poison Ivy I'm suddenly kind of interested almost?
No it's the story of Lara Croft becoming Green Arrow and just sniping people in the base of the skull and then rolling around in mud Predator-style and knifing the hell out of an entire army platoon. Man, I'm so glad Tomb Raider got back to what the series is REALLY about.
*gas explosion* *dude screams in agony as he burns to death in a writhing heap* *cut back to beaming, proud developer* "I hope you like what you see."
Lara Croft has been "becoming the tomb raider she's destined to be" for three goddamn games, can we have a game where she's actually the tomb raider she USED to be, nine damn games ago?
FFXIV Stormblood trailer. Looks like basic "Hey, we're doing Ivalice now by the way, and we have our own storyline, and LOTS of bosses. It's awesome." stuff.
FFXIV/Monster Hunter World crossover stuff. You know what? I'd love to fight some of those bosses in FFXIV's battle engine.
Life is Strange: You're A Child Superhero again. New footage. Yeah I'm playing this but god it's going to emotionally destroy me.
"Not just one town or set of characters, Captain Spirit is our way of introducing players to the expanded Life is Strange universe." Anthology series are hard.
DRAGON QUEST XI YEAHHHH. Bright colorful Toriyama characters talking about cruel fate and destiny never gets old to me. They're really going hard on "for some reason, most people won't believe you're the hero, but you're absolutely a Luminary hero of Light and you can Destroy the Darkness" and it's all gloriously JRPG and ... y'all know I love Dragon Quest I don't have to keep going on about this. I am 10,000% down for making a rainbow dragon out of pool balls or whatever's happening here.
Something new I don't know? Featuring knights and swords and the word "Oversoul" used a lot.
"On the day of judgement, Gaia turned against mankind. Humanity strikes back."
Platinum Games. Babylon's Fall I think it said.
More Nier Automata. I'm glad more people will have a chance to play this.
Switch logo... it's Octopath.
More Just Cause 4. This version of the trailer is set to LOUD DUBSTEP and includes PLANE LASERS and TORNADOS and... yeah this still looks fun to me.
"We're taking destruction and physics simulation to a new level." Oh, you know exactly what to say to me~
"Customizable grappling hook, with booster rockets and airlifters." Ooh, stop. I'm tingly.
Something New York-y and noir as hell, featuring everyone's favorite superhero: HOODIE MAN. I think Hoodie Man may be deaf? Anyway he beats the crap out of punks. "The Quiet Man." It's apparently a sequel to The Bouncer. (That is sarcasm, it is not really a Bouncer sequel.)
Here's Kingdom Hearts 3. We all hype enough for this yet? Yeah thought so. Sora sounds so WEIRD now. ... !!! COOKING MINIGAME WITH REMY I MISSED THAT BEFORE SOMEHOW ... god aqua still breaks my heart
Uh. Was that it?
...that was it.
HOPES
FF16? Nope.
Anything new? Uh... the hoodie man? And the Babylon Rogues. I mean, Babylon's Fall.
Anything cool? ...mh.
EXPECTATIONS
Roll around in nostalgia? No.
Ports to the Switch? No.
Early Final Fantasy Collection? No.
Hype Level: 2/10. What even was that?
