E3 Predictions In Advance
Jun. 2nd, 2018 06:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xyzzysqrlI wrote these up elsewhere and decided to post them here just in case. With E3 2018 set to hit the stages pretty soon, I figured I'd give a rough idea of where I expect the various corporate posedowns to wind up.
They might be a tad little speck cynical and profane, but eh.
First, Have a link to last year's writeup so you know where I'm coming from. Then, let's go day by day.
JUNE 9
EA, 2 PM EST -
Hopes are for Anthem, Dragon Age 4, and maybe a Nox remake. They keep saying they're ditching lootboxes, I want proof.
Expectations are for sports sports sports sports. Not even eSports, just sports.
Hype level 4/10 because Bioware probably WILL show up.
JUNE 10TH
Microsoft, 4 PM EST -
Hopes are for the Master Chief Collection to get a PC release, they'll admit the Windows Store is a broken heap nobody willingly uses, Minecraft 2, Super Lucky's Tale 2, a shitload of indie games, and actual Ori 2 footage.
Expectations are ... a shitload of indie games, Ori 2 footage, and a scattering of various stuff from around the multiverse, also they still won't realize they're the real PC gaming show and the actual PC gaming show can fuck off into the woods.
Hype: 7/10 because all the stuff they show usually ends up multiplatform and at least playable.
Bethesda, 9:30 EST-
Hopes are for the next ESO expansion, Oblivion officially remade in the Skyrim engine, Doom 2, good footage of Rage 2, andthey announce they're officially giving the Fallout license to Obsidian for keepsies.
Expectations are for Fallout 3 VR, Fallout Switch, some kind of Fallout spinoff, somehow they get the Terminator license again, they go back into making NASCAR games, and everyone spends the evening with the word Skyrim on their lips like a teeth-based sword of Damocles but it never arrives.
This was written before Fallout '76 was announced.
Hype level: Honestly like 5/10.
Devolver Digital, 11 PM EST -
Hopes - None.
Expectations - None.
Hype Level Sleep/10. If they announce The Talos Principle 2 I'll find out when I wake up.
JUNE 11TH
Squeenix, 1 PM EST -
Hopes: ... so many. A first look at FF16. An announcement of ... just about anything new and not based in the past. More on that weird-ass on-foot-vs-mecha game that's set in the Front Mission universe and has art from the Metal Gear dude.
Expectations: They're gonna roll around in nostalgia and wank to the past and port everything ever to the Switch. Maybe Digital Eclipse will get to do an Early Final Fantasy collection. That'd be nice.
Hype Level 7/10 but also 3/10 but also 10/10.
Ubisoft, 4 PM EST -
Hopes:New Assassin's Creed with either more Bayek or his wife (I dunno, I haven't gotten to play Origins yet) or both swappable. The Far Cry team hires Cliff Blimzinki and the entire Radical Heights team live on stage to make a 90s-style Blood Dragon. Something at the Ubisoft presser genuinely surprises me in a good way. Prince of Persia makes a screaming comeback and actually looks good.
Expectations: Tom Clancy Tom Clancy Tom Clancy The Crew Guns Guns Guns New South Park Game.
Hype: Quantumly unstable, will collapse to 1/10 or 10/10 depending which flavor of Ubisoft shows up.
This was written before Assassin's Creed Odyssey was teased. We're goin' to Greece? Huh!
PC Gaming Naptime, 6 PM EST -
Hopes: I will get to watch an unsuspecting man's career wither on the vine in real time.
Expectations: I will get to watch a man's career wither on the vine in real time punctuated by interviews with the Overwatch League.
Hype: 0/10
Sony, 9 PM EST -
Hopes: Eh.
Expectations: "Layden said that Sony’s pre-E3 showing will “feature exclusive looks and deep dives” on four big titles from SIE Worldwide Studios: Kojima Productions’ Death Stranding, Insomniac Games’ Marvel’s Spider-Man, Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us Part 2 and Sucker Punch Productions’ Ghost of Tsushima."
Hype: I'll watch for Spider-Man. Spider-Man/10.
JUNE 12TH
Nintendo -
Hopes: Nintendo will continue to Nintendo. Animal Crossing Switch will happen. Pokemon may happen. Shit I can't even DREAM of will happen, because Nintendo is Nintendo. They'll show off a new Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, maybe. That would be nice.
Expectations: Nintendo will continue to Nintendo. An expansion pack for Animal Crossing Celphone will happen.No Pokemon.
Hype: Nintendo/10.
You guessed it, written before the new Pokemon Let's Go games were announced.
Let's all look forward to being happily surprised this year!
They might be a tad little speck cynical and profane, but eh.
First, Have a link to last year's writeup so you know where I'm coming from. Then, let's go day by day.
JUNE 9
EA, 2 PM EST -
Hopes are for Anthem, Dragon Age 4, and maybe a Nox remake. They keep saying they're ditching lootboxes, I want proof.
Expectations are for sports sports sports sports. Not even eSports, just sports.
Hype level 4/10 because Bioware probably WILL show up.
JUNE 10TH
Microsoft, 4 PM EST -
Hopes are for the Master Chief Collection to get a PC release, they'll admit the Windows Store is a broken heap nobody willingly uses, Minecraft 2, Super Lucky's Tale 2, a shitload of indie games, and actual Ori 2 footage.
Expectations are ... a shitload of indie games, Ori 2 footage, and a scattering of various stuff from around the multiverse, also they still won't realize they're the real PC gaming show and the actual PC gaming show can fuck off into the woods.
Hype: 7/10 because all the stuff they show usually ends up multiplatform and at least playable.
Bethesda, 9:30 EST-
Hopes are for the next ESO expansion, Oblivion officially remade in the Skyrim engine, Doom 2, good footage of Rage 2, and
Expectations are for Fallout 3 VR, Fallout Switch, some kind of Fallout spinoff, somehow they get the Terminator license again, they go back into making NASCAR games, and everyone spends the evening with the word Skyrim on their lips like a teeth-based sword of Damocles but it never arrives.
This was written before Fallout '76 was announced.
Hype level: Honestly like 5/10.
Devolver Digital, 11 PM EST -
Hopes - None.
Expectations - None.
Hype Level Sleep/10. If they announce The Talos Principle 2 I'll find out when I wake up.
JUNE 11TH
Squeenix, 1 PM EST -
Hopes: ... so many. A first look at FF16. An announcement of ... just about anything new and not based in the past. More on that weird-ass on-foot-vs-mecha game that's set in the Front Mission universe and has art from the Metal Gear dude.
Expectations: They're gonna roll around in nostalgia and wank to the past and port everything ever to the Switch. Maybe Digital Eclipse will get to do an Early Final Fantasy collection. That'd be nice.
Hype Level 7/10 but also 3/10 but also 10/10.
Ubisoft, 4 PM EST -
Hopes:
Expectations: Tom Clancy Tom Clancy Tom Clancy The Crew Guns Guns Guns New South Park Game.
Hype: Quantumly unstable, will collapse to 1/10 or 10/10 depending which flavor of Ubisoft shows up.
This was written before Assassin's Creed Odyssey was teased. We're goin' to Greece? Huh!
PC Gaming Naptime, 6 PM EST -
Hopes: I will get to watch an unsuspecting man's career wither on the vine in real time.
Expectations: I will get to watch a man's career wither on the vine in real time punctuated by interviews with the Overwatch League.
Hype: 0/10
Sony, 9 PM EST -
Hopes: Eh.
Expectations: "Layden said that Sony’s pre-E3 showing will “feature exclusive looks and deep dives” on four big titles from SIE Worldwide Studios: Kojima Productions’ Death Stranding, Insomniac Games’ Marvel’s Spider-Man, Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us Part 2 and Sucker Punch Productions’ Ghost of Tsushima."
Hype: I'll watch for Spider-Man. Spider-Man/10.
JUNE 12TH
Nintendo -
Hopes: Nintendo will continue to Nintendo. Animal Crossing Switch will happen. Pokemon may happen. Shit I can't even DREAM of will happen, because Nintendo is Nintendo. They'll show off a new Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, maybe. That would be nice.
Expectations: Nintendo will continue to Nintendo. An expansion pack for Animal Crossing Celphone will happen.
Hype: Nintendo/10.
You guessed it, written before the new Pokemon Let's Go games were announced.
Let's all look forward to being happily surprised this year!
