xyzzysqrl: (Sqrlish RAGE)
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl
As floppy-eared somethingorother Klonoa, everyone's furry boy-crush, you run and platform through a stack of 2.5D polygonal levels. They're fairly easy at first, but there is a SPIKE where the game metaphorically goes "Oh by the way, guess who spearheaded this game project?" and whip-pans the camera around to show the director of the NES Ninja Gaiden Trilogy surrounded by bottomless pits on his throne of doom, laughing at you with fire-red eyes.

To put it less obliquely, that last level or two will TERRORIZE YOU. I was making up NEW SWEAR WORDS. I renamed a particular boss "Baron Clown-galoshes Von Muppet-testicles" and told him to "ride my tamale to Flavortown". I sang a little song to the background music that just went "FUCKITY DOOM FUCK-A-FUCK-A DOOM DOOM".

I didn't even unlock the super secret ultra challenge mode. I enjoy not biting my own arm in half so I may just leave that baby locked up.

I mean, I still beat the game but I owe my blood pressure some zen meditation time. Sorry, body!

Then there's That Ending.


In the end, Klonoa doesn't actually have friends, or people he even knows. He was a dream wished into existence to save the world and he has to go back. His screams of denial are ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING, but worse is when he's swept away into a portal and his former best friend shows a few moments of sadness, then looks around at the restored world and beams happily.

It was totally worth lying to a fuzzy earflopper about a few things to get a restored planet back, right? Plus he's gone for good, so it's not like there needs to be lingering regret.

Ouch.

I'm reminded of nothing so much as the Unico movies, where a bright and cheerful little helpful creature does all he can to make the world a better place, only to have his memory wiped and be forcefully moved along every time he accomplishes something.

I hope some of the sequels are, uhm... a little ... something. Less painful?


IN CONCLUSION: I really, REALLY don't regret playing this. It was a great time and worth every moment, but wow did I have some SQRLIAN RAGE towards the end there.

Date: 2018-02-18 07:25 pm (UTC)
rowyn: (huggy)
From: [personal profile] rowyn
NOOOO POOR BUNNY-THING COME BACK
D:
D:
D:

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