xyzzysqrl: (Sqrlish RAGE)
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl
As floppy-eared somethingorother Klonoa, everyone's furry boy-crush, you run and platform through a stack of 2.5D polygonal levels. They're fairly easy at first, but there is a SPIKE where the game metaphorically goes "Oh by the way, guess who spearheaded this game project?" and whip-pans the camera around to show the director of the NES Ninja Gaiden Trilogy surrounded by bottomless pits on his throne of doom, laughing at you with fire-red eyes.

To put it less obliquely, that last level or two will TERRORIZE YOU. I was making up NEW SWEAR WORDS. I renamed a particular boss "Baron Clown-galoshes Von Muppet-testicles" and told him to "ride my tamale to Flavortown". I sang a little song to the background music that just went "FUCKITY DOOM FUCK-A-FUCK-A DOOM DOOM".

I didn't even unlock the super secret ultra challenge mode. I enjoy not biting my own arm in half so I may just leave that baby locked up.

I mean, I still beat the game but I owe my blood pressure some zen meditation time. Sorry, body!

Then there's That Ending.

In the end, Klonoa doesn't actually have friends, or people he even knows. He was a dream wished into existence to save the world and he has to go back. His screams of denial are ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING, but worse is when he's swept away into a portal and his former best friend shows a few moments of sadness, then looks around at the restored world and beams happily.

It was totally worth lying to a fuzzy earflopper about a few things to get a restored planet back, right? Plus he's gone for good, so it's not like there needs to be lingering regret.


I'm reminded of nothing so much as the Unico movies, where a bright and cheerful little helpful creature does all he can to make the world a better place, only to have his memory wiped and be forcefully moved along every time he accomplishes something.

I hope some of the sequels are, uhm... a little ... something. Less painful?

IN CONCLUSION: I really, REALLY don't regret playing this. It was a great time and worth every moment, but wow did I have some SQRLIAN RAGE towards the end there.

Date: 2018-02-18 07:25 pm (UTC)
rowyn: (huggy)
From: [personal profile] rowyn


xyzzysqrl: A moogle sqrlhead! (Default)

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