Recordkeeping: Red Faction Armageddon COMPLETE.

[xyzzysqrl]

Nyyyyhhhhhhh man I don't know what to think of this game.

On one hand, this is more of "Stuff exploding: The Game". Debris everywhere. Blowing up walls and ceilings and yay. On the other... it feels like a lost Dead Space sequel? Like, you could just insert one guy going "MAKE US WHOLE" and people would assume the Dead Space writers forgot how to continuity again.

Maybe I felt like that because this could be ANY game. You have Bald Snarky Smirking Wisecracker Hero, who has a wrist computer he has a rapport with.

Mason: "These guys are a pain in my ass, SAM!"
SAM the computer: "I DETECT NO DAMAGE TO YOUR GLUTEAL REGION."
Mason: "Very funny, SAM! Can't I get some good news for once?"
SAM: "REQUESTED DATA NOT FOUND."
Mason: "Shut up, SAM!"

There's also the... black military guy, whose name I have already forgotten and who exists to go "AW HELL NAW" at the aliens, and the Girlfriend, who exists to pilot giant robots (yaaaay), have a boobwindow (...kinda yay?), and to kiss the hero and then instantly take a tentacle through the boobwindow and die, provoking the power of MAN-GRRR so Snarky Heroman can go fight the last boss. (no yay. no yays whatsoever.)

So as the game rolled on I increasingly winced and held my head and made noises at it before going back to destroying large metal objects with missiles. Happily, there's a plotless puzzle mode sort of thing where you can do just that for points and nobody tries to talk to you or crack sarcastic jokes, which is probably the only reason I'll ever reinstall this.

Also when I beat the game I unlocked a squeezable plush unicorn that farts rainbow napalm-laser beams.

Nyyyyhhhhhhh man I don't know what to think of this game.

Comments

[porsupah.livejournal.com]

I suspect I'd have given up long before the end, being in severe danger of excessive eye-rolling, especially at Disposable Girlfriend being just a plot device to power the real hero onward. =:P But then, my preferred types of games tend to be more along adventure, puzzle, platformer, and interactive fiction (currently, "One Button Travel". Surprisingly engaging, despite such a simple gameplay mechanic) - I'm about as much of one for blowing things up as Fluttershy would be. ^_^

[xyzzysqrl]

You want the Nancy Drew posts and other such adventure games, which I'll hopefully have more of that next year. Right now I'm being a terrible violent person who destroys everything.

I like variety.

[soulshrapnel.livejournal.com]

A... unicorn that... whaaaaaat o_O

That sounds even worse than the unicorn pooping out ice cream which was going around on Facebook the other week. Smh at this whole post.

[xyzzysqrl]

I really don't know how to COPE with lovingly-rendered unicorn butthole in my video games.

I think that may make me a poor furry.

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

Well, it probably makes you a bad Brony, but I dunno if you were really a Brony in the first place.

[xyzzysqrl]

No.

[soulshrapnel.livejournal.com]

I'm a poor furry anyway (lol, seriously, Ada and Bearcat have had talks about this and how they are both almost furries but not really and have Ambivalent Animal-People Feels, it's kind of dumb) but I don't think I would cope with lovingly-rendered ANYTHING butthole in my video games. So: It's probably not you. :P