xyzzysqrl: (Sqrlish RAGE)
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl
The landlord called the other day, to find out why we're still in the apartment. We have a grace period of a couple of weeks, but after that it's moving-in-with-the-boyfriend's-parents time. I don't know what I'll do if it comes to that. Hide in the basement, I suspect.

What happened to the Really Great Place? Fell through. Someone else got their papers in before us. This is depressing. But it's okay. We found another really nice place. But then the guy who was selling it vanished off the face of the earth and stopped replying to emails. This is also depressing. At this point I've shifted my mindset away from "Find a really nice place" to "Find a place that has walls." All other things (niceness, floors, access to the rest of the town/city/country/planet, alien molestation from the attic-dwellers) that make apartment living worthwhile? Optional by now. Don't care anymore.

Writing is proving impossible. The job I once counted as my dream job is now making me cringe and whine. That's depressing too. How does that happen? How do I fix it? My brain feels fried to a crisp and I think my imagination died a month or six ago. That, I care about, but I don't know quite what to do about it.

I'm really tired and really drained for no good reason whatsoever. I'm sorry if I've come off as brusque or short with anyone. I really don't intend to. I'm snapping at everyone including the boyfriend and I feel like crap about it, but I feel like crap in general too. This needs to be over. When it is, I'll get out of this nosedive and things will come back together. I really believe this.

Meanwhile, for lack of more entertaining content, I'll post some links. Have a hunk of the contents of my 'bookmarks' file. Enjoy.

Depeche Mode does The Sims 2:
In Simlish, no less.

Sci-Fi Cover Explorer
Old pulp sci-fi magazines in a big ol' jumble. I want to -read- the solemnly-presented "The Moving Finger". Been staring at this a lot lately. Also, somewhere off to the left you can find "Planet of the Knob-Heads", which made me giggle helplessly for entire minutes. Great images on some of those magazines, but... knob heads. Hee.

Infiltration Magazine
The Magazine About Going Places You Shouldn't. I liked this enough to buy the "Access All Areas" book. I wish I had this kind of explorative spirit. I'd like to poke my nose into some abandoned buildings back in Maryland.

Speaking of Sci-Fi...

The Free SF Database ...This is really just waiting for me to feel good enough to go through it.

I May Not Like Art...

But I do know that the latest Transformers comic book series is going to have me whimpering like a puppy. Hearts of Steel looks to be a sort of steam-retro Transformers. Megatron has NEVER looked so cool, but Shockwave and Bumblebee are my picks for squee-worthy designs.

That's it for now, folks. 'Til next time.

Date: 2006-03-07 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rnicoll.livejournal.com
Sympathy on house move stuff. Although, if you end up with a "just walls" place, plan on moving fast, they can really suck your soul out if you stay around them too long. Nothing like waking up at the weekend, and panic-rolling out of bed because you're sure the ceiling just cracked further, to ruin your day...

Date: 2006-03-07 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordianmaster.livejournal.com
As far as writing goes, take a break, if possible. This is especially applicable once you find a place to live. Don't squander it trying to destress - instead, watch some stuff you never have before, try to get the creativity flowing.

I know what you're going through, and it's really, really stressful. It's entirely possible once that goes away, everything else will click into place as if you just got the long straight block.

Wow, that was an awkward reference.

Date: 2006-03-07 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doniago.livejournal.com
I think I got that reference too. Go me.

I hope your apartment situation works out, and it's a shame the landlord for the backup place has gone AWOL...though if he's really that kind of guy, maybe it's best if you don't move in there anyway.

Good luck with everything.

Date: 2006-03-07 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosycat.livejournal.com
Prioritize, like my current priorities :

1. inhale
2.exhale
3. inhale
4. run away from sqrl :)

Seriously, I'm sorry the apt situation is being so irritating. As for the dream job becoming a stress thingy, that happened to me when I stopped seeing my dream job as my dream job and started feeling stressed. Oh, it was still the same job, so logically it was still my dream job, except... it wasn't anymore.
I'm not logical :) I'm allergic to logic, I think. :) The other problem was, I was too stubborn to admit I needed a break, a vacation, to let my mind regroup and relax and regather forces and/or muses, and stuff :). Maybe you need a mental vacation, or even a real one??

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