Dungeons and Dickweeds

[xyzzysqrl]

So on the way home from the bookstore, the BF and I got in a conversation that wove through a number of different topics and settled on Roguelike games.

Sqrl: "And I'd end up with like, Cursed -1 Claws of Weakness, and be like oh gosh thanks..."
Woof: "I DON'T GET THAT."
Sqrl: "Awuh?"
Woof: "Like the cost of... a sling. It's a couple copper pieces tops. The cost of CURSING that sling is like a thousand gold. CONGRATULATIONS IT'S THE MOST EXPENSIVE PRANK GIFT EVER??"
Sqrl: "..."
Woof: "...hm?"
Sqrl: "...hmm."
Woof: "What?"
Sqrl: "I want to be that guy."
Woof: "You what?"
Sqrl: "I want to be that guy. The guy who's like... hey, splitting the loot. A spear. Anyone use spears in this party? No? Okay! I curse it and put it back in the box!"
Woof: *incoherent sputtering noises*

And thus was born the legend of Assholio The Malignant, Profesional Disenchanter. I may have to check the 2E Books of Magic over on the D&D shelf to see if he should be a priest or a wizard, but either way he thinks it's absolutely hilarious to leave cursed negative-penalty items in boxes for adventurers to find later.

Invite me to your D&D game today.

Comments

[houraipeach]

To be fair: I have literally, actually done this. It was part of a con-job on a crime boss; he wanted us to retrieve some super-fancy sword so he could claim a noble birthright(since yadda yadda yadda sword in the stone and all). Our group got it, then realized the dude was a fuckhead, and went 'hey, if we CURSE this sword before giving it to him, it's gonna be really easy to kill him and take over his organization.' Which is exactly what we did!

In short: 1,000 gold cursing a shitty sword is not a bad initial investment to take over an entire crime syndicate.

[arkofeden]

Assholio sounds like vital support staff for our grab-bag of assorted Traitor Marines in Black Crusade. Not enough power to bring down planetary governments or regional theocrats, but sneaking in and cursing/daemon-infesting the right objects at the right time sounds like a quality Project Mayhem. ^^

[xyzzysqrl]

Oh wow, I was just thinking of magical curses in fantasy worlds. I'm like 100% down for infesting random household/office objects with demonic essence.

"Can you pass the stapler?"
"Why sure DaaAAAAAUGH TERROR RISING DESTROY ALL AROUND ME"

[ss-ebonclaw.livejournal.com]

I think a better term would be Professional Malenchanter. It's not the removal of an enchantment, it's the addition of a negative enchantment.

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

Malechanters can only curse a spear if they also have a shield handy as well.

[dang-bunni.livejournal.com]

A lot of cursed items in AD&D aren't necessarily intentional.

There's a chance, when making a magic item, that oops it didn't work, -1 instead of +1!

So it's not necessarily someone wanted to make an extra-crappy sling. It could've been a crappy wizard trying to make a good one!

Still, I do like the 'leave cursed stuff around' concept. This could go places.