Book Shopping - Another in the Epic Saga of Sqrlbooks (TM)

[xyzzysqrl]

We here at Casa Del Wuufensqrl consume an estimated seven zillion books a year, and every now and then we run out to the local used bookstore, drop off a carton, fill the carton with new ones, and come home again. Today the nice lady who runs the place was absolutely thrilled to hear from us.

"I was just about to call you!" she enthused. "We got more boxes of sci-fi and fantasy in! Come look at them!"
"Does it worry you that she knows us personally now?" I asked the woof. He shrugged. Well it worries me. I'm not used to people in reality having my best interests at heart. But off we went, and we pawed through the boxes and laughed at "part 67 in the continuing saga" and then we came home with a new box of books.

Woof, in the car on the way back: "I have to admit, some of those I would've read when I was younger..."

Sqrl, ditto: "Seriously. When I was fifteen? I'd have been all over like half of those. Nowadays I look at the back of them and it's like the Matrix, you just see straight through the actual text to read what's actually there? Like: "Hurfledurf is a young wizard who does not know his destiny. He will walk from one end of the map to the other and accumulate up to six companions, one of whom he will marry."

Woof: "Aaaugh. Or 'Hurfledurf works for the United States Space Team of Space Marine Mercenaries in United Space. His team of troubleshooters shoot all the trouble in a fifty-thousand mile radius.'."

Sqrl: "Yeah I think we bought book one of that."

Woof: "Wait. ... We DID. God damn it. At least we FOUND book one. Fricking EPIC SAGAS we can only find two books of..."

Sqrl: "Well, at least you've got COMPLEX tastes like shooting and marines! Nowadays I'm all like "Hurfledurf, a PI or Fireman or Policewoman or some fucking thing, works in a noir city where it is always night and like some fucking zombies happen and only werewolves or vampires or some shit can stop them and you're already carrying this to the cash register aren't you."

Woof: "You do. You are."

Sqrl: "Either that or anything with a dragon on the cover. If there's a dragon on the cover..."

Woof: "YES I KNOW. Except that's a lie because you won't touch Anne McCaffery."

Sqrl: "Oh. Good point."

Woof: "What there really needs to be is... like a grid on the cover, that tells you what D&D classes the heroes are, what their gender ratio is, and how much of the book they spend naked."

Sqrl: "Six guys, two fighters, one thief, one wizard, two bards. No homo. Meh."

Woof: "Six guys, two fighters, one thief, one wizard, two bards, some homo?"

Sqrl: "Maybe keep that one."

Woof: "Mmhmm."

Sqrl: "...no, but... dragons are ALWAYS naked, that won't tell me--."

Woof: "...I don't see where that--"

Sqrl: "I HAVE A VERY LIMITED FIELD OF INTEREST."

Woof: "sigh."

Sqrl, patting woof leg: "It's okay. We'll get these home and I'll catalog them and only the entire internet will know how incredibly shitty our tastes are."

Woof: *choking laugh/cry noise*

Beneath the cut: Our terrible purchases for the day. Mashed together, no him/me split.


Pyromancer - Don Callander (Book 1 of "Mancer")
Dragon Rescue - Don Callander (Book 2 of "Dragon Companion", will have to find book 1. Damnit.)
Mistress of Dragons - Margaret Weis (Book 1, "Dragonvarld")
Master of Dragons - Margaret Weis (Book 3 "Dragonvarld", AUGH)
Shadowfall - James Clemens (Book 1, "Godslayer Chroncicles")
Star Risk LTD. - Chris Bunch (Book 1, "Star Risk")
The Dark Tide - Dennis McKiernan (Book 1, "Iron Tower")
Shadows of Doom - Dennis McKiernan (Book 2, "Iron Tower")
The Darkest Day - Dennis McKiernan (Book 3, "Iron Tower", SUCCESSFUL TRILOGY +100pts)
The Stepsister Scheme - Jim Hines (Book 1, "Princesses")
The Black Company - Glen Cook (Book 1, "Black Company")
Iron Sunrise - Charlie Stross (Book 2, "Eschaton")
Halting State - Charlie Stross (Book 1, "Halting State")
White Tiger - Kylie Chan (Book 1, "Dark Heavens")
Kingmaker's Sword - Ann Marston (Book 1, "Rune Blade")
The Western King - Ann Marston (Book 2, "Rune Blade")
Midnight Blue-Light Special - Seanan McGuire (Book 2, "InCryptid", need the first one. Damnit.)
Wizard of the Winds - Allan Cole (Book 1, "Tales of the Timuras")
Wolves of the Gods - Allan Cole (Book 2, "Tales of the Timuras")
Y: The Last Man: Unmanned - Bright K. Vaughan (Book 1, "Y: The Last Man")
Ravenor - Dan Abnett (Book 1, "Ravenor")
Horus Rising - Dan Abnett (Book 1, "Horus Heresy")
Ravenor Returned - Dan Abnett (Book 2, "Ravenor")
The Ninety Trillion Fausts - Jack Chalker (Book 3, "Quintara Marathon", need first two. Damnit.)
Magician: Apprentice - Raymond E. Feist (Book 1, "Riftwar Saga", oh god woof no stop it goes on forever)
Greywalker - Kat Richardson (Book 1, "Greywalker")
Kris Longknife: Mutineer - Mike Shephard (Book 1, "Kris Longknife")
Kris Longknife: Deserter - Mike Shephard (Book 2, "Kris Longknife", I wonder if she has trust issues)
The Wilding - C.S. Friedman (Book 2, "In Conquest Born)
Dragon Age: The Calling - David Gaider (Book 2, "Dragon Age", need the first one. Damnit.)
Son of Darkness - Josepha Sherman (Book 1 o-- wait, no, this one's actually fucking self-contained!!!!)
Make Room, Make Room - Harry Harrison (It's people.)


plz send help and fewer trilogies thkz bye.

Comments

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

I've gotten out of the habit of reading physical books, mostly because I ran out of places to put them, but also because I have too much other stuff to read that's slightly more convenient. Or less convenient but shinier, like the stacks and stacks of comic books.

I still have a couple dozen paperbacks that I haven't read. Sometimes I'll stumble over them in the dark and remember they exist.

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

(R:) We're familiar with about half of these, but true to form, I only feel compelled to comment on your choice of 40K, which is that Horus Rising is very nice (nicer if you already know some 40K history, but not one of those books where you're lost in the first 30 pages if you don't know all the lore), but the rest of the HH series is pretty spotty, and not even in a "so bad it's awesome" kind of way. :( The Ravenor series is also nice. Ravenor himself needs lots of hugs. ^^ <3

[xyzzysqrl]

The BF is probably going to enjoy it. I've yet to read anything 40K-flavored.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

I just finished Horus Rising tonight.

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

McAffrey's dragons are sufficiently different from traditional dragons that you might be able to make a decent case for them not actually counting as dragons. Were you so inclined to split hairs, anyway.

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

Also: Wikipedia got nothing to say, but TVTropes tells me that the Kris Longknife books are a military sci-fi series, which surprises me somewhat, because it sounds like it should be about the adventures of a grim assassin as she slowly learns to trust and hope in a high-fantasy setting.

[soulshrapnel.livejournal.com]

*cracks up at ALL of this*

[xander77.livejournal.com]

As someone who REALLY isn't a fan of W40k, I gotta recommend Ravenor (or Eisenhorn, for that matter). It's good as a book, it's excellent as by genre fiction standards, it's probably the best you can find in a sub-genre that mostly consists of "big power armor mens shoot at monstars"