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All right, tonight/today (shut up, it's hard when you keep weird hours) we're gonna finish this game all the way out. Ashe is in peak condition, we've got power and style, and we have a professor to rescue from some vampire hunters. WE RIDE.

The Society of Leopold, the game informs me, is one of the biggest Inquisition-style vampire hunter agencies in the world. It sure looks like it too, because the grounds of their mansion are just CRAWLING with very large men, all of whom have very large guns and/or flaming torches. I hate flaming torches. At least nobody has a pitchfork.

So this is the first time in the entire game where I genuinely stop and think "I don't know if I can play through a direct confrontation here." You all looked at Ashe's stats, but this place looks absolutely brutal. Still, just for kicks, I have Ashe Fortitude up and wade into the fray with shotgun and broadsword and uzi and sledgehammer and--

The thing is, Ashe has been saving just about every bit of ammo, every gun that's dropped, every bit of firepower since the start of this campaign. She is loaded with all the guns. This is the moment she starts pulling them out of her coat and dropping some fool hunter to the ground before taking HIS gun and proceeding to the next, swinging around into hiding for a moment before stepping out in stealth mode and shanking the next guy in line... It is a beautiful flow of directed violence and mayhem that leads straight in their front door.

Of course, this costs a huge amount of stored blood and a fair bit of ammo. I don't know if we can do that very often. But I am astounded Ashe can do it at all. She's come SO FAR! *tears up* Guys, we made a badass murder machine! I'm SO PROUD!

Not that it stops once we're in the door. This is a rescue mission, and that means a whirlwind of violence. One of them even generously contributes a REAL katana to the cause, which of course is the best weapon we've found so far. There's also a skill book on quick-drawing your gun (written by Ned Nederlander). Along the way Ashe stops to listen in on why they took the Professor to begin with: The Society believes that the "Slayer of Adam", Caine himself, is in that coffin.

This makes perfect logical sense because Caine, father of the vampire race, has nothing better to do whatsoever than hang around in a sealed box waiting for someone to open it so he can jump out and yell "SURPRISE!" and then kill everybody in the room, like that one scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark except bloodier.

Down we go into the basement, and further down into some underground tunnels. It's a long, brutal road. Happily, the hunters are kind of dumb. Shoot box of explosives. Run away. ... peek back. Dudes just standin' there. Fortitude armor UP. Snipe dude all the way over in Fuckoffistan. All his buddies run and line up to shoot at Ashe in her narrow hideaway. Snipe. Snipe. Fort. Snipe. Heal. Snipe. OH NO LOW ON BLOOD. Magic artifact has somehow sucked blood from Fuckoffistan to local market.

Ashe just sittin' on a box, surrounded by a stack of hunters three deep, chillin', sippin' on some blood from her ancient goblet like it's no thing. VENTRUE LIFE.

Then it's on to a sniper duel with Grunfeld the Hunter, him with a scoped rifle and me with MY scoped rifle... and katana, when I can catch him. This is a PAIN IN THE ASS because he keeps cloaking himself with faith (waving a cross around makes you invisible! Who knew?) and turning invincible by the POWER OF GOD. Even when I kill him (and take the sniper rifle and FLAMETHROWER he was hoarding) he's not dead.

While I'm trying to ask the Professor about the key to the sarcophagus (which was stolen on the Elizabeth Dane, he has no idea who took it) Grunfeld drags himself up the stairs behind me and sets off a brick of C4, bringing the entire cave down. Ashe and the Professor barely escape on a rubber raft.

Bastard cost me like $1500 in blood packs, too. *wince*

Back at the Prince's tower, something has clearly gone down. The street is littered with rubble, there are chips in the marble desk inside, the doorman is nowhere to be seen, dead people litter the lobby. The Sabbat attacked while I was away, you see. I give the Prince his news (including the death of Grunfeld) and he is DELIGHTED -- To send us to wipe out the Sabbat.

Siiiiiigh. Sure. You know what? Let's go MURDER EVERYONE. EVERRRRRYONE. Out to Santa Monica. Ashe replaces some of those expensive-ass blood packs and buys a bunch of sniper and assault rifle ammo and flamethrower fuel from Mercurio. Battleflag raised. Let's go.

(...Yeah that's really more an Anarch theme, but for authoritarian ass-kicking I'd need to go looking in the less enjoyable side of Youtube.)

Around the side of the old Hotel Hollowbrook, Ashe finds a window-washer's elevator-platform and rides that upstairs. Cleaning out the Sabbat lair is a slow, relentless SLOG of stabbing and slashing and shooting. Mostly slashing. Vampires largely don't care about guns. Ashe's katana gets a workout as she just puts an END to stacks and stacks of vampires. At this point I am starting to feel honest to god sorry for anyone who put all their points in social skills.

...I am getting a little bit pissed off at everyone except Ashe being allowed to teleport or use hyperspace or turn into murdery gangly-armed goblins or whatever, though. That's kind of a pain.

Down down down we go through the Hotel. Hum dee hum. It's like stepping on cockroaches at this point... until we reach the basement. The tzoomouse we fought earlier is down here, and he turns into something called a ZULO form, which can leap around and swim through the LAKES OF BLOOD in the basement. (This is not a happy game, y'all.) However he's left a magic sword in his lair, the "Tal'Mehe'Ra" blade. It does aggrviated damage and swings extra-fast.

If anything is, this is... yeah, right time to deploy this... A VAMPIRE KILLER.

On the way out of the hotel, Ming Xiao appears. She wants to tell me a little story about an "arrangement" she and the Prince had. You see -- and here she vanishes, and reappears looking like Nines -- she was the one I saw at Grout's mansion, just after killing him. Her and the Prince were looking to frame Nines, and Ashe was ... useful for that purpose, because why would a new fledgling LIE about something like that?

Now she wants to ally with me, to join up and defeat the Prince. The sarcophagus MUST be in her hands. After all, she has the key to it.

...an interesting offer. She vanishes and it's back to LaCroix's office. Interestingly, the guard informs me that the Prince didn't leave the usual note for me to go up. He wasn't expecting me back. ... Hm. Really now.

LaCroix blows off the idea that he ALLIED with the kuei-jin. Whaaaat? Nooooo. Pfft. Why would he do that? Just because it provided a good long period where he was free of a political rival, why would he ally with the foreign demon-beasts trying to kill all kindred? That's crazy talk! Nooooo. Etc etc anyway Nines is off the hook, so could I go be a diplomat and try to broker an alliance with the Anarchs? There's a good Ashe.

Yes, him and Ashe, his powerful enforcer, one day they're gonna rule this city side by side.

Yes. Rule. ...Right. We will rule over all this land.

On the way out to the Last Round, Beckett catches up to me, panting. He wants to make ABSOLUTELY SURE I do not open that sarcophagus. Don't open it. ...Frankly that damn thing is the LAST THING on my mind, but I shoot him a thumbs-up and he nods before getting the hell out of LA. ...Goodbye, Beckett. You always sounded really sarcastic, but you were a decent guy.

At the Last Round, Damsel is happy to help (kinda) once the situation gets explained. Once she's done threatening to I quote "Tie Ming Xiao's eyelashes to her ass-hairs and bowl her into a car compactor" which I feel shows a great deal of creativity and initiative alike, she tells me Nines is hiding out in a local park.

I hop another cab out there, but also break for a stretch. However I DID promise that today we're finishing this thing, so check back later for the THRILLING CONCLUSION!*

*conclusion may not thrill