Vampire: Bloodlines part 13: Beckett's Guide To Everything

[xyzzysqrl]

Last time here on the Vampire Bloodlines play journal, Ashe explored Chinatown, nearly got punched through a wall by a deadly giant shark, and met a mysterious man who called himself The Mandarin.

Which is all well and good, but geez, when do Angel and Spike show up? It's like this game doesn't know ANYthing about vampires in Los Angeles at all!

So anyway let's get across town to the Eff You building so we can see if it's a trap.

Heeeeey what do you know it's a trap. The Orange is interested in how Ashe works. Y'know, science-wise. Mostly because he wants to use her as a test subject to find the most effective way to kill vampires. So Ashe is exposed to UV light, travels through a laser obstacle course like the one in that Resident Evil movie, and ends up in a room full of spinning blades. She stands there dodging them back and forth for just a little over half an hour, worrying that the scripting has broken and she's stuck there forever.

Eventually I have to check a walkthrough. Oh, you're supposed to shoot some panels to break out! ... what if you get here and don't have a gun? I don't want to think about that. Bang bang bang and we move on to the next test, and the next, most of which I manage to disable from the doorway by shooting key areas. In the end Ashe shoots a gas can, which explodes and triggers Belmont Team to come try to kill her with shotguns. She escapes into the facility and kills the Mandarian with irony by biting him to death.

Footage from these experiments belongs in a Syfy Channel original movie called VAMPUZZLE or something. Seriously. The high-concept pitch is "Cube" Except The Main Characters Are Vampires. I got people, Syfy, I can make this script happen. Call me.

Anyway, on the way out I save Barabus! Who? ... Oh, yeah, the nosferatu guy. Anyway we fight our way out of the building, Ashe with her broadsword and him with big-ass claws. Then we part ways. No fistbump. Happily as soon as I walk out the front door of the FU building, Gary's calling on a payphone. He tells us the Giovanni have the sarcophagus. Leave the cannoli and bring the broadsword, we're gone to the Italians.

Back at our apartment, we pause and take stock briefly. All that's in our email is a note: "Beware The Black Queen", from "a friend". Not a Queen fan, huh Balthier? (Ahahaha it's ironic see because Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen was by Matsuno, who later went on to do FF12... oh nevermind.)

It's time to socialize. Ashe takes a cab to the Giovanni mansion, and by talking to some of the folks outside discovers one lady in particular is prone to getting ridiculously drunk and spoiling family moments. Sure enough she's three sheets to the wind as we chat, and eventually she gets sick and drops her invitation right where Ashe can pick it up. Oopsie. I'll just... save you some social embarrassment, ma'am, by being you for the night.

Inside, Ashe introduces herself as Maria, and meets a nice girl named Nadia. Nadia and Ashe chat for a while, and Nadia asks if Ashe wants to see something -neat-. So she leads Ashe into the library, pulls a sword on the wall, and takes Ashe down to the family embalming chamber. ... Okay, kind of neat I guess.

Nadia: "Can you guess what they do with the bodies from here?"
Ashe: "It's not sex, right? Tell me it's not sex."
Nadia: "Uh...C'mon! It's a lot easier if I just show you!"
Ashe: "nonononono"

BUT Nadia is already running off to the family... oh thank god they're just making zombies. That's okay. That's fine. Unfortunately the zombies attack, so Ashe cuts loose with her broadsword. Nadia is VERY impressed and leads her deeper into the crypt. Oh, man, Nadia. I feel bad for using you. You're kind of awesome, if dim and trusting. You're like a zombie-loving puppy.

(Oh hey, that magic book for Pisha!)

Eventually Nadia sort of wanders off, so Ashe pushes deeper until she's accosted by a pair of kuei-jin assassins, one with a blade and one with a claw. They claim there's an "alliance" between the Prince and Ming Xiao. Ashe claims that's nice, but she needs the sarcophagus they're standing in front of. They claim they do not wish to be responsible for her death. Ashe agrees it would be ill-mannered to claim responsibility when they will have no part in it. There is a two on one duel. They should have brought more assassins.

So the Prince ... FINALLY ... fucking has his sarcophagus. We return to the tower, bloody and triumphant. And the damn thing won't open. Beckett's even there, documenting the markings on it and trying to figure out how it works, but he cheerfully notes we won't be opening Pandora's Box -today-.

Prince LaCroix flips the -fuck- out and demands it be opened before storming off. I actually love most of Beckett's lines here, so I'm just gonna text-dump:

Ashe: "What do YOU think is inside?"
Beckett: "Put your ear to it. I'll shake it and you tell me what's inside."
So that obviously isn't gonna work. Beckett goes on to tell me about Doctor Johansen, a professor of archeology who WAS staying in the area until he was kidnapped. Last night.
Ashe: "Tell me he left some notes, or diagrams, or something?"
Beckett: "I did find a pair of bikini swimwear, and a book detailing the origins of various Turkish dialects."
Ashe: "That's all?"
Beckett: "I detected the scent of myrrh incense, usually burned in monasteries. Also, I found beach sand in part of a muddy footprint. Putting two and two together I located a monastery on a beach in Malibu, where I believe hunters are holding Johansen captive."
Ashe: "...All that from sniffing around his room?"
Beckett: "Actually I found two hunters on the roof of the building opposite the hotel who were delighted to tell me everything they knew, provided I stopped dangling them head-first over the side."

So, the Society of Leopold ("They're so secret, I don't think they even know they exist") is holding the doctor captive, probably trying to draw out LaCroix. Sigh. Beckett, y'wanna go stage a rescue?

Beckett: "It's not that I don't love walking into the heart of danger to curry favor with the local magistrate of the hour, but... mm. Actually, that's exactly it."

Thanks, Beckett. ...and do you think this sarcophagus really has anything to do with Gehenna, or whatever?

Beckett: "If we open it and the world ends, then yes. If not... no. More likely, the latter."

I think I have a crush on Beckett, you guys. Just, like... a little one.

There's a brief break in our narrative here as we head off to Mercurio's and buy a Steyr AUG assault rifle with optional zoom scope and a brick of ammo, turn in that book to Pisha, read a few stat books we've picked up and can only just use...

Let's take a look at Ashe's stat block at this point in the game. She is subtle as a brick and twice as loud, but she is also damn near a master of any weapon humanity can forge, and some weapons NOT forged too.

(I actually went hunting for a clip of Buffy blowing up the Judge with a rocket launcher to illustrate "no weapon forged by man", but the internet let me down. Y'know, it seems like big chunks of my 'vocabulary' lately are short youtube clips? I would be more bothered by that, but I grew up listening to Whimsical Will on the Doctor Demento show and such. ... If you have no idea what I'm on about, nevermind again.)

Anyway, tomorrow night we take on an entire society of vampire hunters, and then HOPEFULLY we finally put this game to bed. Stay tuned!

Comments

[read-alicia.livejournal.com]

"In the end Ashe shoots a gas can, which explodes and triggers Belmont Team to come try to kill her with shotguns."

\m/

[xyzzysqrl]

...YES, exactly this. I spent about half an hour going through Bloody Tears mixes from various Castlevanias and eventually went with the original in frustration because the others were all too smooth and gentle-sounding and I wanted something ... chippy and aggressive.