Vampire: Bloodlines part 12: Sidequesti-- Eh, Forget It, Ashe. It's Chinatown.

[xyzzysqrl]

Yesterday I declared Sidequestival on all this stuff that got emailed to Ashe, our vampire noblewoman. That said, this is kind of starting to feel like a rare game that's 100% sidequest all the way down. Let's analyze that a little.

So far, the main plot has looked like this: "You are a newly turned vampire, working for the Prince of LA because he spared your life. On his orders, you blew up a warehouse to fight the Sabbat. Then he developed a strong fascination with a sarcophagus, so you followed that all over the place."

Everything else in the game has been a long string of sidequests, "little favors" for vampires more powerful than you and other vocational tidbits of work and experience gain. To some degree, "Why am I doing this?" will likely as not come back with "for the money" or "because I was asked to", instead of a good solid narrative reason. So... er, I may just NOT BOTHER with like HALF of these, because I am le tired of doing work for next to no reward and a handoff to the next high-ranked twit with an agenda.

So! Mitnick, screw you. Not doin' your quest. Bert, also screw you. Not doin' your quest either. Beckett has always been a pretty stand-up guy for us, though. And the Prince pays our bills. Those two we'll take care of.

That said, if we find ourselves at endgame and lacking the XP/character stats to win out, well... there's always reloading, isn't there?

So! The Cavoletti Cafe. Our Prince wants this place to have a lowered property value and there's a famous food critic eating there tonight. We storm on up, find the food critic in question, and basically stare at him until he talks himself around that the place is an "overpriced cafeteria" and deserves zero stars. Barely needed our intervention, but damn right I'll take credit for it. I'll also take the hundred dollars the Prince mails me.

Next stop: The library. Beckett seems to think I should check the place out. This involves entry via the downtown sewer system, of course. The library was added in a fan-patch, based on (I understand) some quest data and maps that weren't in the released game. The lighting is a little off in places, and it feels kind of like a wing cut from the stealthy museum mission: A lot of sneaking around avoiding guards and such. That said, it doesn't feel clashingly out of place or anything. Maybe a bit unpolished.

The mission itself is pretty quick. Sneak past a couple of guards, find a library card, use it to unlock a secret switch, duel a "LaSombra", which I have no idea what that is, and then go back out. The game implies strongly that I should... or Ashe should... know this LaSombra from "The Junkyard" except... I don't? Oh well. ... WALALALA LA SOMBRA~ Anyway, I get a broadsword for doing this which is a quite nice melee weapon. NOW I feel like I'm playing Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca.

Out to the sewer, risin' up, bananana, back home to our lair. Beckett muses about how there was a dark ritual going on, and how he's glad I stopped it. Glad to be of service! Okay let's go to Chinatown.

Incidentally, I am increasingly worried about our taxi guy. Seriously, that is nowhere NEAR natural. He's been slowly migrating backward the longer I play this, and I'm honestly worried he's going to end up in the trunk by the end of the game and I won't be able to finish this.

In Chinatown the first thing we do is meet up with Ming Xiao, local kuei-jin leader. She is sort of passive-aggressively smug about how much better the kuei-jin are than kindred. They're not "cursed", they're "possessed of a dark spiritual energy" that ELEVATES them above other mortals and immortals. It's a GREAT REBIRTH. I politely do not mock their stupid smug jerk culture and just nod a lot. Eventually she settles down, thanks me for presenting myself in their territory, and tells me she has no idea where the nosferatu agent is. Welp, thanks! Bye!

No, I can't get out that easy. I have to go ask around. Specifically I need to ask a guy who runs a local resturaunt, so Ashe hikes out THERE and his daughter's been kidnapped by the Tong, oh no! Well, too bad, see-- damnit. OF COURSE you know I have to solve everyone's problems. After confirming that yes, this is enough to get him to help me, Ashe goes and unleashes hell upon the local Tong population. "Kiki", Wong's daughter, is not very cheerful or grateful for the save BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER because we can talk to Wong now.

Wong can't help us, but he can tell us who can! Zhao! Another guy, across town! Oh for heaven's SAKE only the knowledge that stabbing these people would break the game allows them all to go on LIVING. Ashe hikes her blood-covered, broadsword-wielding ass across town and just STARES at Zhao. HELP ME OR ELSE, ZHAO. Zhao, as it happens, is quite helpful. Possibly the Tong have the nosferatu agent. He used to be a Tong, but he betrayed them in the name of cleaning up Chinatown.

At which point the Tong raid Zhao's warehouse office and open fire with SMGs. Naturally at this point Ashe is ACHING for an excuse to stab SOMEBODY, so she leaps down there and clears them out. WITH VIOLENCE. Zhao did not survive the original volly of shots, so in his name I pledge to help with cleaning up Chinatown! Zhaaaaaaoooooo!

Anyway, "Johnny" is the local Tong leader and also the dude holding our Nosferatu agent (remember the agent? We're here for the agent) captive. Before he died, Zhao gave us the code to his dance club. However... I'm starting to remember WHY I do these sidequests. Let's look around and see who needs our help in Chinatown.

There is in fact a hilariously face-palm-worthy sidequest here, as I find an old man who used to be a hitman. Once there was a job so big, it took him and his best friend to do it. They each put the money from the job in a box, but they're not friends anymore. It would take both of their keys to unlock it. For 20% of the money, would I kill his friend?

So I accept. And talk to his friend, who offers 30% if I'll kill the other guy. And then talk to the first guy, who offers 40%. And then talk to the other guy, who offers 50%. And then talk to-- I get them up to 70% before pointing out that at this point, they would each LOSE MONEY by paying me and they decide it's easier to become friends again than to deal with a "fucking mercenary math whiz".

For this, Ashe gets like 6 XP, which I think is the biggest XP reward as a single chunk so far. She also gets a handprint in the middle of her forehead from slapping it so hard. But at least nobody had to die.

It is at this point, as I wander into a ramen shop, that Ashe meets Yukie. Yukie instantly recognizes Ashe as a vampire, and declares that she is DEATH -- But not for Ashe. She's hunting a demon that killed her master, a hengeyokai. Now this is my sort of thing. Ming Xiao is able to help me out in investigating the hengeyokai, explaining that his name is Zygaena and he's operating in her domain but she feels no attachment to him. A little detective work later and I discover he'll be in the fish market, which I cheerfully report to Yukie... along with an offer of help.

So it's off to the fish market for me and Demon Hunter Yukie (I've got to watch that anime again sometime) and we prepare to square off versus Zygaena... WHO IS A GIANT FUCKING HAMMERHEAD WERESHARK HOLY SHIT YUKIE YOU HAVE GOT TO TELL ME THESE THINGS. Zygaena is roughly fourteen feet tall and able to punch Ashe around the GODDAMN ROOM, so fighting him is actually a challenge.

Well, until I remember I own a shotgun with a full-auto fire selector. THEN it becomes a matter of kiting him around while Yukie wedges her katana up his backside. The demon falls, Yukie and Ashe exchange Awkward Cross-Language Cross-Faction Fistbumps of Demon-Slaying Reluctant Sisterhood, and we go our separate ways. Farewell, Demon Hunter Yukie. See you next episode!

It's time to meet Johnny. I find his dance club easily enough, but "NOBODY ALLOWED UPSTAIRS!" as one of his goons grunts at me. I happen to notice that said goon has his back to an outside door directly next to the stairs, though. So I leave, come around the side of the building, sneak in that door and tiptoe up the stairs. ... sometimes it's so easy, I'm almost ashamed of myself. Johnny is talking to someone on his television (?) so I sneak up and stealth-kill him.

The person on TV smiles. Hello. He's been expecting me. He's The Mandarin. ... Wow, this game has an Iron Man crossover, too?! ...Oh. Not that Mandarin. Just... some Mandarin. Maybe he's an orange. I don't know. Anyway, he has the nosferatu guy I've been looking for. Why don't I come to the Fu Building to negotiate?

HELLO, WHY NOT STEP INTO THIS TRAP IN THE CLEARLY LABELED F-U BUILDING? Sigh. Be there in ten minutes.

NEXT TIME: Ashe goes to the F U building. Will she get F'd? Let's find out.

Comments

[sebkha.livejournal.com]

Just as long as the hengeyokai you offed for base XP and Fistbumps wasn't a kitsune or something, I guess we don't have to revoke your Furry Card....

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

I can tell you about King Sombra... IMEAN Lasombra!

It has been said that no one expects the Spanish Inquisition. This was particularly true of Vampires, and many kindred met their final death in the witch-fires. The problem was so bad vampire society was forced to grapple with the problem of how to deal with it. I want you to remember for a moment that the oldest vampires tend to be the most powerful and therefore tend to be the ones in control when I tell you that their first solution was to push any and all relatively young vampires at the inquisitors, usually while scampering away and screaming "TAKE THEM! TAKE THEM! I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!"

This went over about as well as you would expect. This caused an event called The Anarch Revolt. the results of which you can still see out in Hollywood.

Anyway, yes I'm going somewhere with this. The point is that flinging your kids at the enemy just created more enemies, so the Vampires got together and representatives from seven of the thirteen main clans decided that secrecy was the best defense against humans. Thus was the Camarilla formed. The representatives from two other clans openly chafed at the idea, claiming that hiding from humans was for pussies, and Vampires are better than humans, yo! They, and a rowdy, vocal minority of the other clans, broke off and formed The Sabbat.

The first of these clans were the Tzimisce, which you've already encountered. Freaky monsters who are largely interested in finding out what, physically speaking, it means to be a Vampire, and then transcending it. Their signature clan ability is the ability to sculpt flesh and bone like so much clay and they must sleep in the dirt of their homeland.

The other is the Lasombra*. These are mostly obsessed with Catholic hierarchy, and pride themselves on their Machiavellian cunning. Their signature disclipline manipulates shadows to a variety of uses, and Lasombra cannot be seen in mirrors.

*(It has just occured to me that since "lasombra" is spanish for "The Shadow", "The Lasombra" means "The The Shadow".)

[rowyn]

they decide it's easier to become friends again than to deal with a "fucking mercenary math whiz".

This bit cracked me up. :D