xyzzysqrl

Last time, our heroine Ashe was placed under a mysterious curse and forced into the service of an untrustworthy Prince. While unsure of his motivations, she aided his manservant in avenging himself upon some rogues posing as merchants. With his life secured, Ashe proceeds to a cabaret in search of a contact who can facilitate the completion of her mission: The destruction of an enemy base/supply depot.

Or in other words, Ashe became a vampire, got dicked around by the local Prince, helped the prince's underling get revenge after he got beaten senseless by drug-dealing explosives salesmen, and now she's off to a dance club to find the guy who can help her blow up a warehouse full of enemy vampires.

But that's not nearly as fun to say, is it?

Anyway, the Asylum is way down at the end of the block, a great big glowing building that pretty much screams "ENTER YE PILGRIM AND GET GRUNGY" at everyone passing by. Which a lot of people are. Passing by, I mean. Ashe strolls right in like she owns the place, which she doesn't. I know because she meets one of the two owners as soon as she's in the door.

Jeanette Voerman is her name, being aggressively cryptic and seductive-y is her game. She is from Planet Flirt, and unfortunately she's so busy being breathy at Ashe that we get absolutely no chance to ask her about Tung. ... She'd probably mishear it anyway. So, we case the club for clues.

Okay, first I case the dance floor for clues. Ashe dances like she really doesn't care if her arms and legs kill anyone. The nice thing about a club like this though is: NOBODY CARES. Look at that dude behind her. He's groovin' it in sync, OR POSSIBLY is so stoned he thinks he's an airplane. PUSH IT OVER THE LINE. For the authentic experience, fling your arms violently sideways and stomp like you have pants full of ice cream. Aw yeah, it is the NINETIES ALL OVER AGAAAAAIN.

Anyway enough of that. Talk to the bartender, I'm here to see Therese. Upstairs? Thank you! I take the elevator up and... hang outside as the sisters argue and bicker about who's a stuck-up bitch and who's spread their legs all over the city. I read a newspaper. Huh. "Carnival of Death". That gets me a sidequest to go check out the latest serial killings on the docks. Yeah, that's something I want to do. Check myself out in the mirr-- oh. Yeah. I also locate a gold ring on the floor. ... Mmm, loot.

...wow, they... can REALLY go at it. For a LONG time. Eventually Jeanette storms out and I crack the door open. Hello, just calling to ask a favor?

Happily, Therese is all business up front, business in back, business all the time everywhere. She has nothing particularly AGAINST Tung, she just hates him because he's an icky unclean Nosferatu, which is kind of like being ground zero for the ugly bomb. Still, as long as I do her a Favor, she's willing to do ME a favor and put the word out that she has no feud with him. That will get him out of hiding and I can talk to him PROPERLY.

All I have to do is go to a haunted house, find a Thing from the angry spirit that lives there, and bring it back. I thank her for her professionalism, she hands me a key to the sewer system access so I can get there, our business is concluded.

Before I head into the sewer system I trot back home and check-a my email, to see if Balthier successfully managed to buy milk without robbing anybody. Instead there's a follow-up mail from Prince LaCroix, asking me to please go get this sample of werewolf blood that's been sent to a local clinic for testing. Oh, you mean the clinic where I mind-wiped the guard and now have the keys? That clinic?

...Yeah, that sidequest doesn't take long to finish. I drop the sample in my mailbox and it magically turns into $150 and some experience points. I use the XP to buy a second point of Melee skill.

I also elect to trot down to the pier and check out the murder. Yep. That's... a guy gutted and hung from a lightpost all right. Quest log tells me I wasn't able to find anything out "except that it was vicious and animalistic". Well YES, that's what the NEWSPAPER said. What do I look like, Sherlock Holmes? He wasn't an option on this run, and Ashe is NOT a detective. That would have been Nancy Drew's job.

I get briefly distracted by the pierside arcade. Ooh, Rampage, and Pitfall, and River Raid. Very nice. Who published this game again? Uh-huh.

I do notice a bunch of people standing around on the beach not far from the killing though. Maybe they have something to say, or saw something. As a matter of fact they have a lot to say. They're the local "thinbloods", who are not very good vampires. One of them is mildly psychic, and informs me that the killer is dead. Great, it's probably another vampire.

It comes out that the thing-bloods are ostracized losers who have no place in or understanding of vampire society and who may be the "harbingers of the apocalypse". Rather against my better judgement I tell them I'll look into it, if only to find "Lily", who seems like a decent vampire and who sired one of the thinbloods. He met her in a diner, so I shrug and trot out there.

Look, it's "go to a diner" or "go into the sewer system" and after the Rabanastre sewers Ashe is set on those for life, okay?

Anyway, asking around at the diner nets me her purse, containing a photo of Lily, a key she had, and a bail bond for "Rolf Toten". There's a bondsman just up the street... Ashe sighs, thinks of the sewer system, and trudges out to talk to the all-night bail guy. Or rather, to use his PC to check on Toten, R. His car is a red '77 Lightningbird, and he was... deported? Apparently? And left the car in Santa Monica.

I'll go look for that. On my way out, the bail guy presses a quest at me: Find his missing bounty hunter. Grit your teeth, Ashe. Experience points are power. People owing you favors is power. Sidequestival Santa Monica is in FULL SWING, hoo-hah.

Let's see. Stroll through the parking garage, red car... unlock the trunk... hello, Lily's diary. She was turned into a vampire by surprise, Rolf left the country without her, she turned "E" from the beach into a vampire and feels really bad about it, last entry talks about sneaking into the blood bank.

What, the blood bank in the basement of the clinic? The clinic where I mind-wiped the guard and now have the keys? That clinic? Dominate is just the gift that NEVER STOPS GIVING. Let's go see what's up down there. Let's see... the door directly in is locked, so I head through the hospital morgue and crawl through a hole in the wall. In the blood bank I meet a twitchy dude who is perfectly willing to believe I'm there for the "Special Sauce". She's in the freezer, code is 1969.

... I don't like where this is going. Sure enough, tied up in back is Lily. They've been bleeding her for... various reasons. I let her out and she eats an intern, then freaks out about it. Hey, it's okay! Everybody's wanted to rip a doctor in half a time or two in their life! Haven't you ever seen "Scrubs"?

Once Ashe tells her E's still in the city, she runs off to find him and reunite. Meanwhile, the guy who runs the blood bank is pissed and sulks that he won't sell to me anymore, which lasts right up until I reboot his brain with Dominate.

Good lord I love that power.

Down on the beach, Ashe returns Lily's belongings. She and E are getting out of town. It's not safe here, they're going up to Oregon. More importantly, Ashe is now absolutely maxed out on the humanity scale. Actual human beings often have less humanity than we do. That's something to take pride in!

Speaking of inferior people, how about that bounty hunter? Let's check out his apartment, since it's close to Mercurio's. Inside... let's see. A note on a tape recorder observing that the case is "getting weird" and he's updated the files on his computer. A book about how to shoot things. (ooh, free dot of firearms.) A key to the tattoo parlor down the road. A ring on the floor, mine now. And on his PC... Mmh. A note that "McGee" is hiding in the tattoo parlor. Right! To the ... sewers? Ugh. No. Smells bad. TO THE TATTOO PARLOR!

At the parlor, a phone is ringing. Probably the very last thing I should do is answer that phone.

Ashe answers the phone. It's "Gimble" from Gimble's Prosthetics. He's looking for McGee. He is REALLY perky. Ashe carefully avoids answering any questions, and Gimble invites her to his studio to talk about it. ... uh-huh. Knife at the ready!

At the studio, Gimble tells me a delightful story about how he realized one day he would never REALLY know what it was like to lose a limb unless HE did, so he chopped his arm off and replaced it with a hook. Knife is SO VERY READY. Then he wanders off in back, so I do some snooping.

OH LOOK
GIMBLE IS A CRAZY PERSON WHO CUTS BITS OFF PEOPLE AND KEEPS THEM IN LITTLE CELLS
WHO SAW THAT COMING

Having stabbed about 138 kinds of bejesus out of Gimble, Ashe breaks Carson out of his jail cell. He is VERY relieved, but also missing a finger. His bounty hunter days are over. I promise to tell Arthur the Bondsman Guy and he runs off. As to McGee... ...let's not think about McGee.

Gimble's weapon probably belonged to poor McGee: It's a severed arm, which I pick up to see what it is and instantly wish I hadn't. After some staring at it, I take it back to the apartment and stick it in the fridge. Maybe someone else will want it.

Arthur the Bond Guy is distressed about losing his bounty hunter, but instantly attempts to recruit Ashe. I take his quest (find some guy who probably skipped town, start in the apartment across from Ashe's) but the important thing is this: All that sidequesting gave us enough experience to buy Dominate Rank 3. We can now put people to sleep for 30 seconds at a time and just beat on them while they're undefended. Plus, more conversational options that involve brainwiping people!

I don't think you understand how excited I am that now I can go "SLEEEEEP" and people will fall asleep. Ashe is totally ready for black and white 1950s horror movies now!

Anyway Ashe isn't good enough at lockpicking to get into that apartment, so it's SEWER TIME. Happily it's a short walk out to the locked grate that leads to Ocean House, our haunt-du-jour. Out front is a trailer, so I nip inside and grab the key -- And a growling snarling rumble starts up as the screen violently shakes. Outside, a piece of construction equipment has started itself up and rammed the trailer at speed. It stays there, engine idling and sputtering, as I head for the front door.

Tomorrow: Welcome to Ocean House, please enjoy your stay!