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xyzzysqrlWell, I'm pretty sure I have enough votes now from here and elsewhere. By far, the number one thing you folks wanted me to do was to fight the evil creamy dessert, The White Mousse. At first it was funny, but then people kept going "AHAHAHA DO IT" and now I'm convinced this mousse is like end-boss tier. Is it really? WE SHALL FIND OUT TOGETHER.
Other votes I got from various sources include:
-- "Do all the hunts!"
-- "Humiliate yourself in public."
-- "Go hunting."
-- "You should try the hunts, and if you die, reload and do the plot."
-- "LOG INTO FACEBOOK FOR FREE VIAGRA" (Augh, no, fucking spammers.)
So what I'm gonna do is try all the hunts... but first:
The deadly high-calorie White Mousse.
That poor moogle needs me to beat his dessert and find his lost key, kupo, and I'm gonna BRAVELY HEAD DOWN INTO THE SEWERS and do exactly that!
Where I promptly get lost. And find enemies called "Malboro Overkings" who like to hit the party with every status effect known to mankind before hitting them for mass damage. There are also level 40 lizards, who hit like small trains. Is this why you guys wanted me to come down here? I love you all too. Luckily Team Damage (Fran, Vaan, Ashe) are up for completely trashing the Lizards. As to the Malboros... well, this is why the game has a button dedicated to running away.
Much tactical stealth action, healing, and spamming of protective spells later, I discover the Water Elemental. These are floating glowballs that hate you for the crime of existing. A 9-link Quickening chain isn't enough to kill one, and as I flee deeper into the sewers I begin to realize with a slow dawning horror that even if I survive this excursion, there is no way I'm making it back up and out of this place alive. Luckily, save points give you a full heal when you hug them in desperate sobbing relief, so I am in decent condition to turn around and face the wobbling jello-y thing I sprinted past while fleeing in horror.
Right. I buckle down and attack it bravely. Then retreat, heal, try again. After a while I get a decent flow going where I can sleep it, attack it, sleep it, set it on fire, etc. Unfortunately, it's taking a while to whittle his health down.
I mean, it's really taking a while. Ho hum. *tap fingers*
I dump some Quickenings into it. Well, that did some damage, but... sleep, attack...
Eventually it is explained to me by a friend who has played this before that while my party is a very respectable level 20, this thing is level 35 and has a truly enormous whack of hitpoints. I am not going to whittle through them with the basic fire spell. This is simply not a thing that will happen. Ever.
"What if I grind on the level 40 lizards around him until my party is higher-level?"
"oh lord."
With helpful phrases like "Death March" being thrown around, I take that as a "probably not". Accordingly, I'm marking this one as "Come Back Later". I am also marking it as "Punishment for Hubris". I promise I will not brag about the party being awesome for at least this update.
Now... how am I going to get OUT of here? It turns out the answer is "sprint, while screaming and sobbing, through a wall of lizards and murderous plantbeasts". Eventually I get through to the other side and save in safety.
Let's try one of the other two marks, shall we?
The hopefully not so deadly, squeezable Marilith
... actually, uh, let's not talk about this one either.
The Ring Wyrm, my last hope at redemption here.
THIS one... this one is almost unkillable. Almost.
What I end up doing is an exploit. It's almost certainly not in the spirit of the game. However, the Wyrm has two types of attack: Up close and physical, and casting spells. He is also very weak to magic. What I end up doing is putting Reflect on the entire party, getting him caught on the landscape, Immobilizing him so he can't get free, and waiting.
Three hours later, he has bounced spells off my party to kill himself and I have used just about every magic-regenerating thing I have to keep those Reflects up. But I did win! It was cheap. It was petty. It took no skill, only an exploit of the game mechanics. It was not an epic battle.
... But it IS a victory, and thus the party celebrates. What reward do you have for me, Balzac? What GREAT TREASURE will you hand me, in reward for this epic event?
200 gil, a "moon ring" that sells for a further thousand or so, and "Icebrand", a one-handed sword.
Not a single person in the party uses one-handed swords.
NEXT TIME: We stick to the plot forever and never go hunting again.
Other votes I got from various sources include:
-- "Do all the hunts!"
-- "Humiliate yourself in public."
-- "Go hunting."
-- "You should try the hunts, and if you die, reload and do the plot."
-- "LOG INTO FACEBOOK FOR FREE VIAGRA" (Augh, no, fucking spammers.)
So what I'm gonna do is try all the hunts... but first:
The deadly high-calorie White Mousse.
That poor moogle needs me to beat his dessert and find his lost key, kupo, and I'm gonna BRAVELY HEAD DOWN INTO THE SEWERS and do exactly that!
Where I promptly get lost. And find enemies called "Malboro Overkings" who like to hit the party with every status effect known to mankind before hitting them for mass damage. There are also level 40 lizards, who hit like small trains. Is this why you guys wanted me to come down here? I love you all too. Luckily Team Damage (Fran, Vaan, Ashe) are up for completely trashing the Lizards. As to the Malboros... well, this is why the game has a button dedicated to running away.
Much tactical stealth action, healing, and spamming of protective spells later, I discover the Water Elemental. These are floating glowballs that hate you for the crime of existing. A 9-link Quickening chain isn't enough to kill one, and as I flee deeper into the sewers I begin to realize with a slow dawning horror that even if I survive this excursion, there is no way I'm making it back up and out of this place alive. Luckily, save points give you a full heal when you hug them in desperate sobbing relief, so I am in decent condition to turn around and face the wobbling jello-y thing I sprinted past while fleeing in horror.
Right. I buckle down and attack it bravely. Then retreat, heal, try again. After a while I get a decent flow going where I can sleep it, attack it, sleep it, set it on fire, etc. Unfortunately, it's taking a while to whittle his health down.
I mean, it's really taking a while. Ho hum. *tap fingers*
I dump some Quickenings into it. Well, that did some damage, but... sleep, attack...
Eventually it is explained to me by a friend who has played this before that while my party is a very respectable level 20, this thing is level 35 and has a truly enormous whack of hitpoints. I am not going to whittle through them with the basic fire spell. This is simply not a thing that will happen. Ever.
"What if I grind on the level 40 lizards around him until my party is higher-level?"
"oh lord."
With helpful phrases like "Death March" being thrown around, I take that as a "probably not". Accordingly, I'm marking this one as "Come Back Later". I am also marking it as "Punishment for Hubris". I promise I will not brag about the party being awesome for at least this update.
Now... how am I going to get OUT of here? It turns out the answer is "sprint, while screaming and sobbing, through a wall of lizards and murderous plantbeasts". Eventually I get through to the other side and save in safety.
Let's try one of the other two marks, shall we?
The hopefully not so deadly, squeezable Marilith
... actually, uh, let's not talk about this one either.
The Ring Wyrm, my last hope at redemption here.
THIS one... this one is almost unkillable. Almost.
What I end up doing is an exploit. It's almost certainly not in the spirit of the game. However, the Wyrm has two types of attack: Up close and physical, and casting spells. He is also very weak to magic. What I end up doing is putting Reflect on the entire party, getting him caught on the landscape, Immobilizing him so he can't get free, and waiting.
Three hours later, he has bounced spells off my party to kill himself and I have used just about every magic-regenerating thing I have to keep those Reflects up. But I did win! It was cheap. It was petty. It took no skill, only an exploit of the game mechanics. It was not an epic battle.
... But it IS a victory, and thus the party celebrates. What reward do you have for me, Balzac? What GREAT TREASURE will you hand me, in reward for this epic event?
200 gil, a "moon ring" that sells for a further thousand or so, and "Icebrand", a one-handed sword.
Not a single person in the party uses one-handed swords.
NEXT TIME: We stick to the plot forever and never go hunting again.
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no subject
Date: 2012-12-02 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-02 01:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 02:39 am (UTC)These are not always edited for clarity, which may be causing some issues.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-02 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-02 05:32 pm (UTC)Especially with bosses, in which I find I do more damage over time without them - I can come back from a Quickening with a boss to find only two pixels removed from its health bar. Derpity doo.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-02 08:53 pm (UTC)