Critically Pan'd - Rise of the Argonauts Finale/Summation

[xyzzysqrl]

Game: Rise of the Argonauts
Played Before Now: No
Time played: Roughly 20 hours
Finished? Yes
100%? Mm, I'm unsure. Probably not.
How Much is it Right Now? $10
Did I pay that? Yes.
Recommended? Provisionally. Be prepared for irritation and crashes.

Short years ago there came a swathe
games of many different kinds
yearning for your dollar bills

their quality, it ebbed and flowed
rough and stormy as the tide

The Argonauts then had their Rise
and some have found them lacking still
I did at first and yet they grew

my heart won true by dialogue
steady rose my combat skill

I pine for what could have been done
the schedule rushed, the features slip'd
only seen in data-dives or magazines

scavenged from the resource files
dug out from a data crypt

Let's not speak of might-have-been
but focus eyes on what is there
A creature of strange mythology

I know it mutates over time
but this was near too much to bear

Unusual though the story felt
The tale is told quite well in truth
Perhaps not with enough verbosity

Alas I find I make that claim
with each new title 'neath my roof

Oh ... I can't keep that up. I did try. I really did. *ahem*

Rise of the Argonauts grew on me like fricking kudzu, okay? I started out prepared to SIGH GIVE THIS GAME A CHAAANCE and I ended up really liking it, BUT. There are things you need to be aware of. Your choices, aside from one that I could tell instantly, probably do not change the story much. There's not a lot of player agency. Combat is the main focus. It's short. It's not very pretty most of the time. (Other times, yeah.) It crashes. It stutters. The voice actors are various levels of phoning it in.

ASIDE FROM THAT, it's a perfectly good game. Just... that's a pretty big aside, y'know? If anything I feel like what they've made is a kind of weird stunted BONSAI game. Like, they've cut and pruned and trimmed so aggressively that what SHOULD be a massive sprawling thing is just this... dinky, kinda-impressive remnant of a poorly-thought-out metaphor RPG. *cough*

You have to decide this is a thing you're going to like and DIVE IN and you'll be rewarded. Or not. I kinda played it so you don't have to, and if I knew how to do recordings and thought anyone cared about me plowing through a game like this on easy, I'd video the experience for y'folk so you could see it.

So... I had a good time. I enjoyed myself. I don't think anyone else would have, but I did.


Now I prepare to write anew
another game upon my plate
a steady outpouring of words

What game, I wonder, will it be?
I leave it in the hands of Fate...

See you next time.

Comments

[xyzzysqrl]

You're too kind.
*eye crater full of smoking remains of poem*

Faaaaaaaar too kind.

[porsupah.livejournal.com]

Please replicate yourself a few million times and establish iTunes accounts. I've never understood what it is with so many people that they feel they have to issue either 5 or 1 star ratings for a given title. Really, is it so awkward to give a rating in between, based on, simply, whether it's above or below average, based on some actual gameplay?

Dammit. Now I might have to give this one a try myself. ^_^;