Never before has my icon worked so well.

[xyzzysqrl]

Okay, I don't usually do religious mocking-based posts here, and this isn't really one of those I guess, but it could be interpreted as one, so I apologize in advance. Still:

Earlier today the Star Trek animated series went up on Netflix and-- No, I do not have strong religious beliefs about the Star Trek animated series, just hold on.

Anyway. That went up, and there was one review on it.

That review is reproduced here, for your pleasure.

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1 member reviewed Star Trek: The Animated Series
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As someone who believes that there are literally trillions of
inhabited planets out there in the cosmic playground of outer space
and that much about their origins and destiny (as well as those
pertaining to our own planet) have been revealed and documented within
the last century in a series of 196 Papers known collectively as The
Urantia Papers (or The Urantia Book) that were authored by various
Beings-Not-Of-This-Realm who were commissioned to bestow this epochal
revelation upon our planet including translating it into the English
language (since English is not the native tongue of either our local
universe of Nebadon or our superuniverse of Orvonton or of the
Paradise-Havona Central Universe of Divine Perfection which is the
dwelling place of the eternal God and around which everything else and
everyone else revolves in accordance with the superuniverse plans of
evolutionary progress and spiritual attainment), I was predictably
pleased to watch a TV series that to me asked: Are we really all alone
in the universe of universes with this vast enormity of wasted space
encircling us like lifeless set decoration or are we rather a part of
some gigantic undertaking that is fusing perfection and imperfection
and blending science and religion into one creatively unfolding
project that is beyond our mortal comprehension to fully fathom and
that involves other living beings on other inhabited planets who are
in the truest sense, our cosmic cousins? So when I gaze into the
starry heavens at the countless suns of space, I marvel at how
seemingly insignificant it would superficially appear that our planet
is and yet just as many movies highlight the important role that faith
plays whether in regards to believing in a Higher Power or believing
in the existence of alien beings far removed from our galactic
proximity, I do have faith that our sphere (Urantia) is just as
precisely administered and just as lovingly fostered as if it were the
only inhabited world in all existence.

3 out of 4 members found this review helpful

There's three things I want to say about that.

1. What. WHAT. ... What?!
2. We should all chip in and buy [him/her/a cosmic gender beyond knowing] a big bag of periods and other mixed punctuation.
3. I think the punchline of the entire thing is "3 out of 4 members found this review helpful". I am imagining three guys sitting there going "Do go on!", and the fourth has carefully edged away to get a sandwich. Maybe this dude ought to do reviews on like Youtube.
I wish Netflix told you who reviewed what.

(Mind you, I have been playing Blazblue (the first one) extensively lately, and my notes on what I've sussed of the plot so far would probably LOOK as random and scattered and disjointed...)

[EDIT] After talking in the comments, Sword and I got sacrilegious in IMs. And... some other stuff.

SwordianMaster: Technically?
SwordianMaster: Oh, you're right.
SwordianMaster: It was PUBLISHED in 1955.
SwordianMaster: It was "written" earlier.
SwordianMaster: If we are to trust this.
XyzzySqrl: ...Ah.
XyzzySqrl: I don't know. Studying this book as a way to expand my interest in the great cosmos sounds roughly as useful as having a second asshole installed in my forearm.
SwordianMaster: ...
SwordianMaster: .....
XyzzySqrl: I think I will stick to actual books about actual space, as opposed to Jesuspace.
SwordianMaster: Now I am envisioning you eating metal.
SwordianMaster: Just so that you can use your arm-ass to SHIT BULLETS.
XyzzySqrl: Your impression of my life is -way cooler- than anything that's actually happened to me.
SwordianMaster: Isn't that how it always goes.
XyzzySqrl: ...yeah pretty much.
XyzzySqrl: (ARMAMENT ARM ASS. HE ATE THREE TIMES AND EXCRETED TWICE.)
SwordianMaster: Also, I would totally believe anyone who told me that Jesus was really a magical flying space whale.
SwordianMaster: Because, hey. If you're the son of whatever given deity?
SwordianMaster: Wouldn't YOU spend a little while, even if it's in an afterlife, just to be as awesome as possible?
XyzzySqrl: "Jehovah has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome? Y/N"
SwordianMaster: I mean. Come on. YOUR CHOICES ARE "BE A SPACE WHALE" OR "SHOW UP ON OLD LADY'S TOAST."
SwordianMaster: I KNOW WHICH I WOULD DO.
XyzzySqrl: I would be TOAST WHALE.
SwordianMaster: unrelatedly, i am going to all the hells
XyzzySqrl: I think I'm going to one of the Shin Megami Tensei dungeons when I die. It is like a place beyond hell. Called Hell Floor 2. With pittraps.

Comments

Usually not one to simply macrospam, /but/...

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

...actually, an addendum.

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

HOLY SHIT IT ACTUALLY EXISTS.

WHAT.

Re: ...actually, an addendum.

[xyzzysqrl]

Yeah, I was looking at that. 2000+ PAGES about ... I don't even KNOW what. I mean, I would read it, but 2000+ PAGES. And it was published in -1955-. That is BEFORE SPACE EXPLORATION. I don't think I can take a book about our place in the vast universe of Jesus seriously when it's written before we actually went anywhere. It's like writing a tour guide of Europe because you went to Atlanta once.

Also it's apparently really critical of science, which doesn't make sense to me because YOUR THING IS SPACE. You cannot check space out without SCIENCE. You can't power a spaceship by praying real hard. I tried when I was ten. It doesn't work.

So I dunno.

Re: ...actually, an addendum.

[relee.livejournal.com]

I once rode in a spaceship powered by faith!

Or wait no, it was powered by imagination. I always get those mixed up.

Re: ...actually, an addendum.

[xyzzysqrl]

Did you go to the superuniverse of Orvontron?

RANDOM ASIDE

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

...If I had a giant, existance-destroying mecha, I would not name it Ideon.

I would name it Oventron.

Re: RANDOM ASIDE

[xyzzysqrl]

UBERTRON.

Or...
Ovulatron. He is the chick. The universe is his egg.

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE URANTIA.

Re: ...actually, an addendum.

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. From the looks of things the Urantia Foundation has some sort of linkage with ENCOM. ;-)

[michellesolomon.livejournal.com]

I know you're not mocking religious people but sometimes it can't be helped. Whenever I see any religious nut kinda go off, I think of the Eddie Izzard "Executive Transvestite" bit, in a kinda "Hey, I may be Catholic, and pretty religious, but not all of us are quacks" mindset.

tried to read that

[schrodi-kitten.livejournal.com]

Right around "epochal revelation" I started hearing wacky clown music and now it WON'T GO AWAY D:

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

*chuckles*

I bought a hard copy of the Urantia Book back before the turn of the century. It looks like a primary-blue Bible, onionskin paper and ribbon bookmarks and all--if you guys were on Wikipedia, you probably found the link to where the entire thing is online now. Like the Akashic Records, the Urantia material is now kind of a mainstay of American New Age potpourri. I made the mistake of trying to read it cover to cover, but the style is very technical in places and it establishes enough internal lingo that you need to be seriously motivated to get very far into it.

If nothing else, as you noted, it's very very very thorough, using Bible-standard mythology as a base and then piling intergalactic politics, educational systems, and spiritual physics on top of it until Earth (Urantia) appears as a tiny but much-loved part of a vast cosmic reality.

Not saying that any of us necessarily believe in it--we didn't get through most of it, though we still have our paper copy--but it's awesome that it exists and I wish there were more things like it in the world. ^^

--R&.

Also also--

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

Not to be uber SRS BSNS about it, but I also feel compelled to point out that Urantia is not associated with Scientology, even though they share the "extraterrestrial Christendom" theme. All the Urantia-sympathizers I've met organize harmless reading groups where they just kind of hang out and digest the book and presumably talk about which superuniverse grad school they'll go to after they die. ^^

--R&.

Re: Also also--

[xyzzysqrl]

Y'know, I'm okay with that. You could do worse, religion-wise. It just strikes me as weird and I have some problems with the basic premise (I really WOULD like something about Superuniverses and such to ... well, have been written AFTER space travel.) but it doesn't seem HARMFUL. Just... very odd.

Re: Also also--

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

The superuniverses and such are otherdimensional--they're arranged in relation to each other, but there are a lot of things that I think couldn't be proven or disproven unless we could somehow develop machines to sense soul energy. For instance, you know how the center of the galaxy is an enormous black hole that streams plumes of gas out both sides of it? The same concept appears in Urantia as the center of God's creation, only the singularity is Paradise and the plumes are divine grace. IIRC, beings that haven't been sufficiently spiritually evolved don't even possess the means to find places with a higher "vibration," so we could probably expect to find nothing if people who still had bodies went looking for Heaven. ^^

You don't think this level of tightly-controlled weirdness is the cool type of odd? :D I heard that the entire Urantia Book was channeled through one completely ordinary guy who'd gone to a sleep disorder doctor because he had narcolepsy problems and his wife complained that he talked in his sleep. During the investigation, they discovered that his sleeptalk was coherent, started recording it, and ended up with a 2K-page manual for supercosmic enlightenment. XD Why doesn't this shit ever happen to me??

--R&.

Re: Also also--

[xyzzysqrl]

No, mostly I think it's the sort of odd that makes my head explode in slow motion over a period of years.

Re: Also also--

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

Really? Ah well, it's obscure enough that you can safely forget about it entirely and not be worse off for it. :)

--R&.

Re: Also also--

[xyzzysqrl]

...man, I should just stop posting anything, now I feel like a jerk.

Re: Also also--

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

Probably it means I should stop commenting, more likely, because I didn't mean that last statement to have any double meaning or anything--really, there are things that are fine for people to not care about, except for nerds who dig certain types of trivia. :/

I've been under a rock for way too long and have probably forgotten how to deal with people right. oo;; Sorry about that.

--R.

Re: Also also--

[xyzzysqrl]

I've been really oversensitive about any kind of social gaffe lately, myself...

Let's agree we just bumped each other the wrong way there and things are okay?

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

THE PERFECT ANALOGY FOR THE MORNING AFTER.

Re: Also also--

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

That would be awesome. :D Thanks (and sorry for the misunderstanding)!

--R.

Re: Also also--

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm aware.

It just... it sounds too... out there to not make a Scientology jab. It kind of... weirds me out.

Re: Also also--

[arkofeden.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, doctrine-wise, I can see the similarity--the only issue I had with the comparison was that Scientology's a known sinister cult that kills people and wrings cash out of still-living victims, whereas Urantians are harmless and mostly-disorganized New Age nerds (unless they've changed in the last decade or so). ^^

--R&.

spaaaaaaaace!

[phennphawcks.livejournal.com]