xyzzysqrl

While I've been very quiet on the issue of gaming here for a while (official stance: "I still enjoy it."), the recent hubub over the Portal 2 launch has sparked me to play the games in Valve's "Indie Potato Sack".

There's one I want to talk about specifically, because I'm really enjoying it and it had previously totally zoomed past me. That game is THE BALL.

Hold up.

THE BALL.

There we go.

When I first heard about THE BALL I imagined it as being like that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, combined with Resident Evil 3. You are walking through a cave and A BALL APPEARS and chases you for something like 20 hours of gameplay as you run away. With this image in mind, I was prepared to ignore it. I kinda made a mistake! This is pretty awesome. And actually, THE BALL is your friend.

It's an incredibly pretty game. And it actually feels kinda Portal-y in that it's a first person game that's more about puzzle-solving than gunshootery. The only thing I can say against it is that it has no real save system, merely a stupid checkpoint system that is stupid.

Below are my thoughts on THE BALL, more or less as I remember them from playing. I am at roughly the 25% mark, I believe, judging by the chapter titles.

Game: *bad voice acting*
Sqrl: *tunes out* ... "Oh, wait. I can play. Okay! I am an archeologist and I have been separated from my party and instead of doing the smart thing and hanging out until I'm rescued, they want me to explore. Okay!"
Game: *tutorial messages! tutorial messages everywhere! this is how you push buttons!*
Sqrl: "AUGH FUCK OFF."
Game: *hint system eventually fucks off*
Sqrl: "Thank you. Okay! An ancient artifact ... thingie. You use this mouse button and it goes wrrwrrwrrTHUNK and that's an impact hammer, you use this button and it goes woobwoobwoob and pulls in..."
Game: *THE BALL appears*
Sqrl: "...eh. It's kind of a big greebly stupid looking thing. Woobwoobwoob. Come along, ball."
Ball: *rolls along after*

The game proceeds to set up a SERIES OF SITUATIONS in which the BALL is your SOLUTION.

Sqrl: "Hmm. A button."
Ball: *rolls onto it*
Sqrl: "A block that is too large to move with impact blows!"
Ball: *is tied to block, drags it out of way*
Sqrl: "I can't go in that room, there's spikes!"
Ball: *rolls across spikes and busts a hole in the wall for sqrl*
Sqrl: "...okay this is kinda awesome."

There is also BOLD EXPLORATION.

Sqrl: "What's this stuff?" *FWOOSH* "Oh, lava. I am on fire and dying. ... Ball, can you help with this?"
Ball: *buckles down and tanks the lava*
Sqrl: *using ball as a stepping stone across* Hell yeah puzzle-solving.

Also there is ICK.

Sqrl: "Oh god there's bugs everywhere they're buzzing and hissing and if you walk through a spiderweb they get all over the SCREEN jibbliejibblie..."

But EVENTUALLY progress is made.

Sqrl: "Ooh. Ancient rune things. 'Blah blah if this tomb is unsealed you turn your home and your brother's home into a wasteland.' Any other options here? Ball, situation report."
Ball: *silent*
Sqrl: "No other options. ONWARD WE GO. I like wastelands."

Soon enough:

Deformed Horrifying Cave Monster-People: "Rar."
Sqrl: "OHFUCK SAVE ME BALL!"
Ball: *squishes cave people*
Sqrl: "You are awesome. Brofist, ball. Knux."
Ball: *does not have fists*

IN TIME:

Sqrl: "Huh. Ancient mine carts. Okay. How are THESE powered?"
Ball: *totally has this, too*
Sqrl: "WHEEEEE MINE CART RIDE."

And yet...

Sqrl: "C'mon, Ball. I bet there's something AWESOME across this rickity bridge."
Ball: *crunches through bridge, floats down underground river*
Sqrl: "BAAAAAAAAAAALL! NOOOOOO!" *leaps into river without second thought*

One waterfall ride later:

Sqrl: "This is another fine mess you've gotten me into, Ball.
Ball: *stoic*
Entire Village of Deformed Monster Cave People: "HI. ALSO, RAR."
Ball: *killing time*
Sqrl: "I dunno, Ball. Is this really right? We're invading their homes and running them down with, well. You."
Ball: *stony silence*
Sqrl: "You're right, Ball. I'll never doubt our holy mission again. ONWARD."

...and that, plus entering a pyramid, is where I left off. I'm really digging this.