xyzzysqrl

Post-sleep, I pause to reflect on the nature of the plot so far. Basically our hero Chesty Bigtattoo has proven himself to be a really good town guard, not to mention a damn fine crab hacker. Hanging around this small town for the rest of his life may not be a noble goal, but he could manage it. He could well grow old, have two kids (or rams or whatever) and then die with a beer gut and an old sword hanging on his wall. Alas, such is not to be Chesty's fate, for he is our Main Character, and life's about to get way the hell more exciting.

First, though, he gets some sleep.

As he sleeps, we're treated to the sight of him thrashing about in bed, mouth gaping wide and fishlike. "Uggg... uggghuggghhhhee!" he cries, cueing us in that either he's having a bad dream or he's just swallowed his pillow. ("Very articulate, our hero." comments Woofenfoofen Foofenwoofen, who is now idly watching me play.) Turns out to be choice one, as dramatic music and sepia tones take over. A villiage is on fire. Chesty gapes at it.

"Kill the Mystics! They're MONSTERS!" declare the rake and torch waving villagers. Chesty becomes aware of a grey-haired boy hiding in the shadows near him, carefully covering a tattoo on the back of his hand with his other hand. As they villagers notice Chesty, they zero in on his tattoo, and before long he's surrounded by scythe-wielding zealots proclaiming him an Evil Mystic. I never dreamed that the people of Mystic, Connecticut were so universally hated.

Anyway, a giant scythe comes down at our hero and he snaps awake... to the sight of Nancy's head peering down at him, wondering if he's okay. The black background kind of makes it look for a moment as if her decapitated floating head is worried about him. It's sort of freaky until he sits up and blinks at her.

"Was that... a dream?" mumbles Chesty to himself. "It felt so real!" Now, hope as I might for All My Dreams To Come True, I'm generally aware once I wake up that, no, really, I was in bed and dreaming. Usually the sight of my bedroom convinces me of such. "What are you mumbling about?" Nancy wonders, dropping into a crouch that looks more as if she's about to poke his eye out than express concern. "If you know what you need to do, do it! Sleep now, and sleep until you need to get up!" Mmmm. Pragmatic.

Our hero blinks for a while as Nancy leaves the room, then quietly puts a hand to his nipple. Er... Tattoo. He has a vision of a shadowy figure engulfed in flames for a moment, and I twitch mildly as I fear that perhaps Sephiroth has chosen another game to inhabit. "That scene in the dream." he wonders to himself. "Where was that? And something about 'Mystic'..." Maybe all our hero needs is a Mystic Pizza. We fade out to the next morning.

Invading Nancy's bedroom the next day leads her to express wonder that Chesty is able to wake up and move around on his own. You wake up late one morning and people rag you about it for the rest of your life, you know? Heading out to the kitchen, I'm told that he is in fact early and Nancy doesn't have breakfast done yet. Just then, in bursts Monde! (Y'remember Monde? Me either.) He has bad news!

Cut to outside, where the entire town is gathered around one man on a stretcher. (Wolf Comment re the music in this section: "At this point, the orchestra got bored and started playing 'Peter and the Wolf'.") It occurs to me that maybe more effective medical care comes from a one-on-one situation, but what do I know about medical care anyway? Galvan asks to be filled in on the situation.

Monde replies:" ...A strange man in Hunter's Wood! .... Out of nowhere... Boerto..."

...thanks for clearing that up, Monde.

He goes on to pant breathlessly, "No... that was not a man... it was a demon!" Galvan seems to get the picture, and orders Nancy and Random Townsperson #428 to "take care of the rest". He then grabs Edouard by the scruff of his neck and drags him off to Hunter's Wood. Then he turns to Chesty. "You..." I can wait for instructions or choose to Stay in town. Chesty decides that he can be of most use guarding the underside of his bed.

Galvan: "Stop pouting! You'll make everyone feel bad! Just stay here." He's too busy to lay the slap down, however, and just runs off. Nancy takes offense, however. "What are you doing just STANDING there?!" she demands. "Come on, hold that!" She points randomly offscreen and Chesty snaps to obey her. We know who wears the penis in -this- house, we do.

Time passes, and fog turns to rainy fog. The scene in the Little Wood Cabin of Chesty Living is grim. Jill frets about her husband, finally revealed to be Boerto, and Nancy attempts to soothe her by pointing out that Grandpa Hawke -used- to be an excellent doctor. Then, fire in her eyes, she rises and demands of Chesty that he do something. "I... I don't know... how this could've happened!" our hero whimpers. She grabs him by the chin and makes him look into her eyes. Perhaps he'll find hope. Perhaps he'll find romance. Perhaps he'll go into nervous trembles at being touched by a girl and have to go lay down.

Nancy guilt-trips our hero most effectively, pointing out that it is in fact his job to go fight for the town. Chesty avoids her gaze right up until Grandpa Hawke wanders out to deliver his prognosis. Jill's husband will survive, but he'll need lots of bedrest. Pretty good, for getting the crap knocked out of him. Hawke also points out that that kind of wound wouldn't have been caused by local monsters. (Although fearsome Imported Monsters could probably do the job, if they could only get a visa.)

Again Chesty gets the choice: Go see what's happening or Stay put. Like our cringing darling is going to walk out the door into that scary fog? Plus I want to see if I can delay the plot indefinately. So, stay he does. Chesty turns and wanders off to stare at the wall and sulk, as Nancy tries to engage him again. Finally he's outright told: Get the hell out of the house and go HELP already. Left without a choice, I sally forth.

On my way past the farm house, I notice that someone has taken the sheep inside. Just as well. No distractions before battle. It would have been nice to say goodbye, though. Farewall, Baabette. Should Chesty fall, you must carry on... alone.

I swing past the store and pick up some supplies, including a bigger sword (for tasty battle yumminess) and some armor. The armor is called a "Leather Chest". I figure it'll add at least a cup size to our hero's bustline. Which is creepy, I guess, but hey. Anything that puts more Chesty in front of the monster.

(As I browse the inventory screen...
Wolf: "That's a funny looking egg."
Sqrl: "Hmm?"
Wolf: "Text, Egg. Icon, carrot. So if you put it in a warm place, does it hatch into a carrot?")

Off into Hunter's Wood! Where it's dark and stormy. This bodes poorly. Nothing good ever happens in the rain unless you're Gene Kelly.

Back through the woods, la dee la ta da. It's the same path as last time and nothing surprising hits until the end. When... "?!" The body of Edouard is found! "It's too late..." bemoans Chesty, and I feel mild pangs of guilt for hanging around the village, until I remember that he dies no matter what. Armed with that knowledge of inescapable fate, I move on down the path. Rest well, sweet Edouard. May your excess vowels carry you to your rest.

About three feet down the road from Edouard is a save point. It's a shame NPCs aren't allowed to fondle those. (Then again, I don't really want my saved game overwritten by some level one townsperson half a continent away.) And so, once more we stop for the moment.