(no subject)

[xyzzysqrl]

Why do I write about things here in this journal?

Well. To entertain you folk, actually. Lately I've been looking for something to write about, and I think I've found an idea... Remember when I was playing Final Fantasy XI for the sole purpose of writing about it here? (My account expired because of a change in their billing, for the record, or I'd still be playing that.) I was doing it to entertain people and because I love to write about games. A lot of you seemed to miss the point, given all the "NO STOP PLAYING THIS GAME SUCKS" comments.
(Thanks, guys, for that. That was so helpful.)

I love the feeling of being in a virtual world, in a way. Of playing a new MMO and not knowing what will be around the corner. I want to bring that to you.

I am also a masochist. I want to bring you the feeling of being in a virtual world that doesn't like me very much. I like struggling. I think a story about me struggling to win or at least survive is more interesting than a story about me rocketing up levels like a goddamn ninja. Also, bad games have more to laugh at.

There's one last important point: I have no attention span. Thus, I will pick an MMO with a time-limited free trial, or an MMO that's free to play. I will not be extending the game past the free trial period, or whenever I get bored if it's free anyway. This is to keep me sane and provide a limiter on the experience.

Thus: A poll. I'm going to let you folk decide which of these games would be most interesting to see written up here. Below I'll describe what I know about each game.

[Poll #1503284]



--

RUNES OF MAGIC - Free game.
Website says: "Regular updates! Extensive dual class system! Over 1000 quests, an enthralling background story!"
What I Know: This is a game about crafting and being an elf, I think. I've heard of it before, but never really with positive tones.
Obvious Pros: Be a dual classed elf with runes and stuff.
Obvious Cons: Be a dual classed elf with runes and stuff.

PIRATES OF THE BURNING SEA - Trial

Website says: "Join England, France, Spain, or be a pirate! Over 1000 quests! Land and sea combat!"
What I Know: Piracy is cool.
Obvious Pros: I can sign up and be Spanish at people, while kicking around with a big ol' ship.
Obvious Cons: Might accidentally be French or English instead.

AGE OF CONAN - Trial

Website says: "Combo attacks, skills, special abilities! Exotic classes! Over 100 quests! Make your own city from scratch!" (?)
What I Know: This is the well-known superflop that nearly killed off Funcom. It's getting an expansion soon, amazingly. Also, BREASTS.
Obvious Pros: BREASTS. SWORDS. RAAAAAARGH. Already known to be terrible.
Obvious Cons: No possiblity of James Earl Jones.

EVE ONLINE - Trial
Website says: "Choose your own destiny. Don't level up, just learn skills. Affect other players. Over 5000 solar systems!"
What I Know: Hoo boy. I know that my friends who play this claim that the stories of mass assrape are highly exaggerated and not that painful anyway. I am deeply curious.
Obvious Pros: Space. The final frontier. Fly around being a spaceman in space. I love space.
Obvious Cons: May find my liver removed through my colon and sold on the black market. Also might accidentally enjoy myself.

WARHAMMER ONLINE - Trial
Website says: WAR IS EVERYWHERE. GRIM DARK FANTASY. ENDLESS QUESTS. RAAAAAARRRRRGH.
What I Know: I have one friend who swears by this and no one else I know will touch it. Grimdark game of being an orc. I think there are other races, but who cares?
Obvious Pros: This is actually supposed to be really good, just hard to care about with the PVP focus.
Obvious Cons: PVP Focus. I'm a care bear at heart.

Shin Megami Tensei Imagine Online - Free
Website says: A Post-Apocalyptic world. Fight solo or alongside a clan. Bond with demons. Experience the storyline.
What I Know: I played this back in beta! It was fun, but really grindy and I didn't really understand it. It was VERY Megami Tensei, which means lots of crawling and scavenging in a dark dark future. I liked it.
Obvious Pros: I know and enjoy this game, which may make it easier to write about. Demons are awesome partners.
Obvious Cons: They sell all the really good stuff for RealCash.

Perfect World International - Free
Website says: Six classes, three races. It says a lot of other stuff, but none of it helps.
What I Know: Next to nothing. This was suggested to me as a very customizable game as long as you don't play it.
Obvious Pros: The screenshots will be gorgeous.
Obvious Cons: I have no goddamn idea what this is.

So what do you think, sirs? And ma'ams. And others. And deliberately genderless.

Comments

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Chaos is so much better than da orks. It's like the only fantasy game there is where the humans are the coolest o.o

[Suggestion, with FIXED HTML. hurr]

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

Wizard 101. You've probably seen it shilled on cartoon channels EVERYWHERE lately, as they seem to really be trying to drag in the 10-18 crowd.

Basically, imagine if Harry Potter and Magic the Gathering had a freak bastard lovechild.

Obvious Pros: Plenty of wtf, and actually surprisingly computer friendly.
Obvious Cons: Interface is obnoxious, full of the type of people like frequent Gaia Online, most non-newbie areas are unlocked either with RealCash or by literally grinding long enough that it could be your job.

Re: [Suggestion, with FIXED HTML. hurr]

[xyzzysqrl]

I played that for 15 minutes, which was the whole of the free trial area.

Re: [Suggestion, with FIXED HTML. hurr]

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

...Yup! Obviously a few of my friends are REALLY SHILLING THE FUCK out of the free trial stuff, but I didn't much see it either.

Re: [Suggestion, with FIXED HTML. hurr]

[relee.livejournal.com]

You beat the free trial area in just 15 minutes? I didn't finish the free trial the whole several days I was playing it. I wonder if they expanded the free trial since you played it?

I found it shockingly similar to Disney's Toontown Online. They copied the gameplay mechanics and design very closely.

Re: [Suggestion, with FIXED HTML. hurr]

[xyzzysqrl]

Pretty much! You get to the end and NotDumbledore is all "OH NO YOUR FRIEND HAS DONE A THING GO SAVE HER" in the pay areas of course. So.

[mulethunder.livejournal.com]

I vote for EVE Online, because I defy you to find anything you can enjoy about it.

(technically you could mine veldspar in 1.0 forever, but even you're not THAT low on the food chain)

[phoenixtril.livejournal.com]

Guessin' about 15 minutes before someone tries to scam the sqrl.

[relee.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he'd be fine mining isogen and mexalon in 0.6, but he'd probably spend more time doing the Epic Story Arcs.

The new career tutorials give you one of almost every frigate for your race, plus a destroyer and two industrial ships, if you complete all of them. Though, you can't pilot industrial ships (read: Space Trucks) on a trial account.

Veldspar is the most traded and most used mineral though, so there's always a market for it.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Perfect World has three races and six classes, but there's only one that matters -- why in the world would you play anything except the pet class that also gets to turn into a fox?

[xyzzysqrl]

There's a fox class? Neat.

[relee.livejournal.com]

Technically it's a kitsune class, which is also your race and gender. You can be a fox with a fluffy fox tail and ears, and you can also have a demon tail and batwing ears or a bunny tail and bunny ears if you want. You turn into a fox no matter what ears and tail you have.

The class is called Venomancer, because the chinese word for kitsune is Yao Guai and nobody knows what that is.

There's also male counterparts who are furries that turn into tigers, no matter if they're a bear or whatever.

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

And now for a very important Public Service Announcement:

Don't feed the Yao Guai!

That is all.

[masstreble.livejournal.com]

Aww, man, I feel bad because I enjoyed your FFFFFFFFFF11-related content, and then didn't say anything. i'm sry. 3:

I don't know what to vote for because I can't decide. I know! I'll be of no help whatsoever and mention MetaPlace! I spewed a lot of bile over it, because I couldn't get the supposedly cross-platform thing to work, and they were really REALLY unhelpful about it, but I'm still curious. It's basically a network of flash world/game things connected by a central framework that ends up having a few MMORPG-esque qualities. It was hyped beyond belief during production, and when it failed to deliver after they opened the beta, everyone stopped caring. Regardless, it has a surprisingly large base, so... it could be worth an honest look. I know Relee is closely associated with it, too.

[xyzzysqrl]

That's an awesome idea, except I have no idea how I'd keep a journal of playing it. Kind of a shame, but... eh, oh well!

Thank you for the ego boost. I needed that.

[swordianmaster.livejournal.com]

...So Taizo's pump won't be necessary, then?

[relee.livejournal.com]

You know Metaplace is closing down right? It basically failed. ^.^;;

http://www.raphkoster.com/2009/12/21/metaplace-com-closing/


Now that you mention it though, I could also reccomend Free Realms...

[xyzzysqrl]

Free Realms bored me soooooo muuuuuuuch.

[relee.livejournal.com]

I would have thought you'd like the boringness.

I found it really enjoyable, the only reason I didn't stick with it is because I couldn't get any of my friends to play it. Most wouldn't even try it.

[masstreble.livejournal.com]

...Ooh. Mm. Huh. Well.

Wait, why do I feel bad? I didn't do anything. I'm not responsible. I didn't make the situation any worse, anyhow. I told people about it while it was a WIP, so if anything I helped, as if that wouldn't actually make me feel worse for different reasons but UGH! Whatever! I'm going to eat this candy here! NOM! Xo

[relee.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, MassTreble, it's not your fault. I mean, really, you didn't do anything. You have no reason to feel bad. <3

It's a shame it didn't work, but really, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be either.

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

I am paralyzed with indecision. I know nothing about any of these, except for the ones I know less than nothing about. I don't want to suggest something that you'll absolutely hate, play for one update and quit in frustration halfway into playing for the second update, and never mention again.

[xyzzysqrl]

I think you need to read the "I am a masochist" part again. I'm PLANNING to dislike some aspect of ALL of these games. I'm also planning to mine for goodness in them.

[iridium-wolf.livejournal.com]

I did actually enjoy Conan, it had neat visuals, the combo system I felt was a good attempt at innovation and keeping the player invested in combat (rather than hit autoattack and go get a coffee). It seemed to be a quick fad, and once all my friends stopped playing, so did I.

Warhammer is also fun, though the Chaos side is better in some ways than the Order side. Spoiler: no matter how awesome you are as Order, transitioning to the next level area means that Order lost. At least through to the high 20's. And that got frustrating and depressing. YMMV.

EVE Online, one of the prettiest screen savers ever. Seriously. Be ready for lots of "Warp Drive Engaged". Missions aren't bad, and the learning curve is a bit steep. But with a good fleet, it can be fun and entertaining. I haven't done any PvP, so I can't offer up any insight there.

Regardless of which one you choose, I hope you have fun!

[xyzzysqrl]

Thanks! Although I kind of hope I don't. Having fun might make for worse writing.

[iridium-wolf.livejournal.com]

Oh, and Pirates of the Burning Sea. I enjoyed it, the ship to ship combat was a nice nostalgic trip back to the Ancient Art of War at Sea and the original Pirates. The sword fighting wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, I'm not sure if it's improved any, but there was some promise there. Getting better ships was difficult though if I remember correctly.

[relee.livejournal.com]

The learning curve in EVE online isn't that steep anymore, the latest version of the tutorials is quite good and even includes basic advanced PvP tactics.

[mocha-mephooki.livejournal.com]

Eve REALLY intrigues me, but as you have no giant robot MMO posted here, I've gotta go with pirates.

[relee.livejournal.com]

I reccomend EVE online. If you pick EVE Online, please tell me and I'll try to hook you up with a three week free trial instead of their usual two week free trial. It's okay if you don't use the third week, but I figure it's better to have it than not, yes? <3

I'm playing EVE Online right now, and I don't think it's a sort of game you would like. You might, though. It's a very PvP focused world. There are epic story quests and lots of crafting options as well, though, if you like that, plus the PvPers need crafters to make stuff for them and for them to steal from, and likewise to defend from thieves, so they like care bears too. I wuv care bears.

It's a game you could probably play solo, if you want, or half-solo, where you're not playing with anyone else, but you sell all your goods to players and do missions for them and stuff. I imagine it would make interesting stories as well.



Another friend of mine already wrote a humorous out-of-his-depth playthrough of Age of Conan so you'd just be rehashing old material. It's been done. ^.^



SMT is a terrible MMO in an awesome setting. I wanted to like it so much but I just couldn't. ;.;

If you do play it you might break my heart by enjoying it where I couldn't. ^.^;;




Perfect World International is a lot like World of Warcraft but with less heart. You can play a kitsune, which is simultaneously your race and class and gender. You can ride a giant swan flying mount. There is a quest-finding system that will tell you the location of nearby quest-givers and how to get them. You can jump thirty feet into the air, and double jump. These are the only good things I found about the game when I played it. ^.^;;

You'd be better off playing Ether Saga, I think, which is another game by the same publisher, and also free with microtransactions. And also adorable. http://eso.perfectworld.com/ad2

The downside of Ether Saga is that it is the grindiest grindfest I've ever ground. It is also the most advanced grindfest. It has methods of grinding that are revolutionary in the field of grinding. The game includes a botting client to automate grinding integrated into the game itself. Monsters are arranged into massive herds and respawn within six seconds so that no matter how many people are grinding the same area, there will always be plenty of monsters. Fortunately these monsters are adorable, and talk, and say adorable things.

Oh yeah and every class is a pet class and you have a pet and your pet is adorable and you can turn into any monster in the game and turning into monsters is an important part of combat. When I played, I turned into an adorable bunnyfairy and I had a pet adorable bunnyfairy who quoted sailor moon and I had a baby kitsune who I fused with to gain super powers at the same time, so that my twin bunnyfairies would be able to punch purple snakes and adorable rat people and bouncing coins that look like bad guys from Banjo Kazooie.

It was adorable, but ohhhhh so grindy. I think they should have marketed it as a screen saver.

[hat-of-nikitich.livejournal.com]

I voted Warhammer, but thinking on it, I might've voted for Perfect World instead. I played it for a little while last year, and it was just lousy with hilariously mis-translated things. Also, hey, gliding at a snail's pace!

Did you ever play Trickster Online? It seems like the palette and adorable spritey-ness might appeal! (It certainly does to me!) It is A Grind, sadly, but man it's cute.

Somehow, I'd never heard of EVE Online. It looks moderately terrible!

[relee.livejournal.com]

You mean it doesn't look fun, right? Nobody thinks EVE online 'looks' terrible, they just think it looks boring... I think.

Meta-commentary:

[masstreble.livejournal.com]

What have you unleashed?

[xyzzysqrl]

Note to self: One non-LJ user vote for SMT:I, one for Warhammer Online, and one more for Age of Conan.