Wikipedia Line of the Day:

[xyzzysqrl]

"It is thought that the club sandwich was invented in an exclusive Saratoga Springs, New York, gambling club in the late 19th century by a maverick line cook named Danny Mears."

A maverick line cook.

...

YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON, MEARS! BUT YOU MAKE A DAMN GOOD SANDWICH!

Adding lettuce to that sandwich won't bring back your partner or your little girl, Mears!

Roast beef and swiss?! Mears, what kind of town did you grow up in?

The Mayor's gonna have your badge AND your ass on lightly toasted bread spread with mayo and a bit of hard boiled egg, Mears! And when he's done, he's gonna use the included toothpick in a way dentists warn you against!

*ahem* I'm done. Really.

Comments

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

"Mears, what the hell was that you just pulled in the kitchen?!"

"Just doing my job ... feeding rich white men."

"Why do I put up with you Mears, what's the county health inspector going to say when he sees those awkward piles of meat, bread and more meat held together with a toothpick?"

"You leave him to me" *brandishes pimento pickled olive on a toothpick*

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

"Mears, I ought to fire you after the stunt you pulled on the train"

"Hey, I got on that train and I FED THOSE PASSENGERS!"

"When I'm through with you the only one you'll be feeding is a DESK!"

[xyzzysqrl]

By day, they uphold the law. By night, they prepare the slaw. Catering Cops. THIS FALL on TNT.

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

They Fight Crime! And hunger.. ;-)

[bunny-hugger.livejournal.com]

Hilarious!

[kiruppert.livejournal.com]

"I know what you're thinking. Did I put SIX pieces of bacon on that BLT or just five? Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost count myself. So you gotta ask yourself 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?!"

[circuit-four.livejournal.com]

98% of modern sketch comedy premises are less funny than this.

[phennphawcks.livejournal.com]

Maverick line chef.... holy crap, I so missed my calling in life.

[masstreble.livejournal.com]

This is amazing. I'll never look at a club sandwich the same way again.

[relee.livejournal.com]

That was great! <3