Gundam Wing eps 1-2 - Summary
Apr. 29th, 2008 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xyzzysqrl...I should really shut up? But this series has too much WEIRD to short on description.
There are some colonies. This proves that this is a Gundam series.
These Colonies want to break away from Earth government! Earth Government is havin' none of that. IRON FIST OF OPPRESSION and all that. So the Colonies start: OPERATION METEOR. Operation Meteor is carried out by the process of stuffing five completely unbriefed teenagers into indestructable giant robots and shooting them at Earth. Like meteors. It is a VERY CLEVER, VERY SUBTLE PLAN.
One of these 'meteors' zooms by a plane transporting VICE MINISTER OF FOREIGN STUFF Darlian and his daughter, Relena. Some of you out there are already gripping your heads in agony.
Relena: "Look! A shooting star! A really strange looking shooting star. Huh."
Darlian: "...Hmm. Operation Meteor has begun."
Relena: "What?"
Darlian: "Nothing."
In this Gundam-type giant robot ("Mobile suit") is Heero Yuuy or Yuy or Yuuyi or somegoddamnthing, no two sources agree.
Heero: "I'd better shoot down that plane."
Earth Alliance shuttle, nearby: "The HELL you are. Launching mobile suit!"
ZECHS appears, flying this mobile suit. He is a CHAR. He wears a mask and is very mysterious and high ranking for no particular reason and he has a PLAN.
Zechs: "Ah. Operation Meteor has begun."
He is also a fucking NINJA, so he manages to disable this incredibly high powered Gundam, in spite of the fact that Zechs is armed with the equivalent of a cardboard box with a butter knife in it. Heero attempts to set his mecha to self destruct as it crash-lands into the ocean.
HEERO SUICIDE WATCH: 1 ATTEMPT
Sadly, Heero does not get his mecha configured to blow up in time, and instead ejects. He washes up on a beach, where he is coincidentally found by... Relena! She attempts to help him up, calls an ambulance, and observes that he's dressed like a solider. At this, Heero rips open a panel in his suit and attempts to self destruct his spacesuit. It does not work.
HEERO SUICIDE WATCH: 2 ATTEMPTS
Instead he roundhouse-kicks the ambulance driver and drives away.
Relena, ten minutes later: "...Hello. My name is Relena. What's yours?"
Relena is developmentally challenged, or possibly a Grandmistress of Sarcasm. (It is later proven that she is in fact both.)
MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE MILITARY SITES AROUND THE WORLD:
Other Gundam Pilots: "HEY WE'RE IN THIS SHOW TOO. WE'RE IN YOUR BASE, KILLIN' YOUR GUYS."
BACK IN RELENA-VILLE:
Teacher: "Class, this is our new student, Heero Yoyo."
Relena: "You're even more handsome outside of your spacesuit. Here, have an invitation to my birthday party. All of my nameless classmate-minions are attending."
Heero, shredding invitation: "I'll kill you."
Relena: "You'll kill me with love. Come, Heero! Slay me!"
Heero: *stalks off*
Relena: "...Am I just not -doing- this right?"
Meanwhile ZECHS and some ALLIANCE GUY talk about Operation Meteor and attempt to recover Heero's Gundam until A MYSTERIOUS SECOND GUNDAM appears and drives them away, if by "drives them away" you mean "chops everybody who is not a plot character into bits with a ginormous scythe".
Meanwhile -again-, Heero is hax0ring his way to victoly.
Heero: "Student record... authorized. Social Security... bypassed. Entrance fees... paid. Grades ... A+. Library card fines... cleared. Columbia Record Club fees... wiped. Now then, to use this school terminal to access top secret military base files and swipe some cruise missiles."
He does this, because COMPUTERS ARE AWESOME. Then he drives to the top-secret military warehouse in his stolen ambulance. Heero Yui, least conspicuous man alive.
A classmate sees him! This news gets back to Relena! She leaves her birthday party (and the newspaper she was reading which was reporting on Operation Meteor) to find him!
Relena: "Ah, Heero! There you are."
Heero, with gun aimed at her head: "I'll kill you."
Relena: "Are you like a spy or something?"
Suddenly a MYSTERIOUS MAN kicks the gun out of Heero's hand!
Duo Maxwell: "Hey! I'm Pilot #2. I'm about eight times too awesome to be in this show, but I'm humoring the fangirls. Also, my mobile suit is currently pulling this awesome crashed Gundam out of the ocean. I'm gonna use it for spare parts."
Heero: "I'll kill you."
Duo: "...With what? I've got the gun here."
Duo shoots Heero, adding ten Awesome Points to his total.
Relena: "NO DON'T KILL HIM!"
Duo: "WTF."
Relena: "Heero, let me treat your wound!"
Heero: "WTF."
Heero, having had ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP, sets off the missiles (remember the missiles?) and shoots them into the mobile suits and sends them back to the bottom of the ocean. Then he leaps into the ocean to die.
HEERO SUICIDE WATCH: THREE ATTEMPTS.
Duo, Relena: "WTF."
More to come shortly!
There are some colonies. This proves that this is a Gundam series.
These Colonies want to break away from Earth government! Earth Government is havin' none of that. IRON FIST OF OPPRESSION and all that. So the Colonies start: OPERATION METEOR. Operation Meteor is carried out by the process of stuffing five completely unbriefed teenagers into indestructable giant robots and shooting them at Earth. Like meteors. It is a VERY CLEVER, VERY SUBTLE PLAN.
One of these 'meteors' zooms by a plane transporting VICE MINISTER OF FOREIGN STUFF Darlian and his daughter, Relena. Some of you out there are already gripping your heads in agony.
Relena: "Look! A shooting star! A really strange looking shooting star. Huh."
Darlian: "...Hmm. Operation Meteor has begun."
Relena: "What?"
Darlian: "Nothing."
In this Gundam-type giant robot ("Mobile suit") is Heero Yuuy or Yuy or Yuuyi or somegoddamnthing, no two sources agree.
Heero: "I'd better shoot down that plane."
Earth Alliance shuttle, nearby: "The HELL you are. Launching mobile suit!"
ZECHS appears, flying this mobile suit. He is a CHAR. He wears a mask and is very mysterious and high ranking for no particular reason and he has a PLAN.
Zechs: "Ah. Operation Meteor has begun."
He is also a fucking NINJA, so he manages to disable this incredibly high powered Gundam, in spite of the fact that Zechs is armed with the equivalent of a cardboard box with a butter knife in it. Heero attempts to set his mecha to self destruct as it crash-lands into the ocean.
HEERO SUICIDE WATCH: 1 ATTEMPT
Sadly, Heero does not get his mecha configured to blow up in time, and instead ejects. He washes up on a beach, where he is coincidentally found by... Relena! She attempts to help him up, calls an ambulance, and observes that he's dressed like a solider. At this, Heero rips open a panel in his suit and attempts to self destruct his spacesuit. It does not work.
HEERO SUICIDE WATCH: 2 ATTEMPTS
Instead he roundhouse-kicks the ambulance driver and drives away.
Relena, ten minutes later: "...Hello. My name is Relena. What's yours?"
Relena is developmentally challenged, or possibly a Grandmistress of Sarcasm. (It is later proven that she is in fact both.)
MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE MILITARY SITES AROUND THE WORLD:
Other Gundam Pilots: "HEY WE'RE IN THIS SHOW TOO. WE'RE IN YOUR BASE, KILLIN' YOUR GUYS."
BACK IN RELENA-VILLE:
Teacher: "Class, this is our new student, Heero Yoyo."
Relena: "You're even more handsome outside of your spacesuit. Here, have an invitation to my birthday party. All of my nameless classmate-minions are attending."
Heero, shredding invitation: "I'll kill you."
Relena: "You'll kill me with love. Come, Heero! Slay me!"
Heero: *stalks off*
Relena: "...Am I just not -doing- this right?"
Meanwhile ZECHS and some ALLIANCE GUY talk about Operation Meteor and attempt to recover Heero's Gundam until A MYSTERIOUS SECOND GUNDAM appears and drives them away, if by "drives them away" you mean "chops everybody who is not a plot character into bits with a ginormous scythe".
Meanwhile -again-, Heero is hax0ring his way to victoly.
Heero: "Student record... authorized. Social Security... bypassed. Entrance fees... paid. Grades ... A+. Library card fines... cleared. Columbia Record Club fees... wiped. Now then, to use this school terminal to access top secret military base files and swipe some cruise missiles."
He does this, because COMPUTERS ARE AWESOME. Then he drives to the top-secret military warehouse in his stolen ambulance. Heero Yui, least conspicuous man alive.
A classmate sees him! This news gets back to Relena! She leaves her birthday party (and the newspaper she was reading which was reporting on Operation Meteor) to find him!
Relena: "Ah, Heero! There you are."
Heero, with gun aimed at her head: "I'll kill you."
Relena: "Are you like a spy or something?"
Suddenly a MYSTERIOUS MAN kicks the gun out of Heero's hand!
Duo Maxwell: "Hey! I'm Pilot #2. I'm about eight times too awesome to be in this show, but I'm humoring the fangirls. Also, my mobile suit is currently pulling this awesome crashed Gundam out of the ocean. I'm gonna use it for spare parts."
Heero: "I'll kill you."
Duo: "...With what? I've got the gun here."
Duo shoots Heero, adding ten Awesome Points to his total.
Relena: "NO DON'T KILL HIM!"
Duo: "WTF."
Relena: "Heero, let me treat your wound!"
Heero: "WTF."
Heero, having had ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP, sets off the missiles (remember the missiles?) and shoots them into the mobile suits and sends them back to the bottom of the ocean. Then he leaps into the ocean to die.
HEERO SUICIDE WATCH: THREE ATTEMPTS.
Duo, Relena: "WTF."
More to come shortly!
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 03:18 am (UTC)I always wondered what the deal was with the ubiquitous bird-masked guy in every Gundam series. Now I know. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 07:26 am (UTC)Though your summarisation is all kinds of awesome and made me snicker.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 11:12 am (UTC)I watched this show like four times all the way through when it was on Toonami--my sister's a Duo Maxwell fangirl, or was anyway. I don't know where her head is now. But we were both members of the JUST KILL RELENA ALREADY Fan Club. I was sitting there waiting for someone to kill her...maybe Dorothy Catalonia stabbing her with Eyebrows Of Sharpness +5 or Maramaya killing her with pure Irony...
I wonder if my sister still has the furry pilot sketches she did years ago...Quatre made a rather cute rabbit, as I recall. Eh, memories.
-Hmm-.
Date: 2008-04-30 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-19 08:54 pm (UTC)Literally made me fall out of my chair laughing. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2008-05-19 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-20 12:55 pm (UTC)