It is social anxiety if you just don't LIKE them?

[xyzzysqrl]

We went out for food earlier and my mood broke a little. I am NOT comfortable, really, in loud crowded places. I keep twitching and jumping and feeling sick and tearful after. Unfortunately there'll be a repeat performance, since I'm hopefully going out to pick up a Dragon Quest map at Best Buy today. (With any luck.) I hope I don't freak out or anything. That's shameful.

Also on this hot, dry morning, someone dumped a cigarette in the mulch outside our window.

*type type type*
*look up*
*plume of smoke*

That's -jarring-, right there. (Went out with a cup of water and put it out.)

Feeling talkative and twitchy as hell lately. I apologize if I'm spamming the crap out of Livejournal. Think of it as the flip side of the times I spend two weeks dead silent.

Comments

[michellesolomon.livejournal.com]

If you spend a couple weeks without blogging? That's okay. Although I've realized myself that the more I blog, the more likely I thinking, "ZOMG if I don't blog something soon THEY'LL ALL NOTICE AND AIEEE."

Re your title: I don't know if this happens to other people, but I noticed that when I first joined the fandom I talked to everyone. And then I got emotionally drained from everyone telling me their problems in horrendously great detail (not friends - everyone else), so I pulled back a lot. And now I notice that there are a handful of people in the fandom that I just actively very strongly dislike - folks that years ago I woulda just been all, "Mwah, whatever." It's a weird thing; I don't know if it's social anxiety or just these two or three particular people that have caused me to have no more tolerance for horking all conversation all the time.

Sigh. Now you've inadvertently gotten me all philosophical.

[xyzzysqrl]

Y'know, I've noticed that too. That there's times I just... latch onto someone and project this ENORMOUS hate onto them, and that's my hate for the whole ... everything. In one person. Regardless of if they deserve it. I know it's not -fair-, but luckily I don't have to interact with them much. It feels unhealthy somehow, but... I think it's an inherent human psychology thing? I hope it is, anyway.

[michellesolomon.livejournal.com]

There are two particular people in the fandom that I kinda used to be like, okay, you seem cool, but then things deteriorated to the point where now I just don't even log on to YiffNet (I know it's not YiffNet anymore but in my sekrit mind's universe it still is) when I know they're going to be around because they irk me that much. It's a weird thing because usually I don't have such strong dislike towards people. There are folks I'm less a fan of but I really, really don't like these folks. And then I realize that it's okay to dislike some folks as long as it doesn't become all encompassing and nasty and hurtful, so I just avoid them and go about my business.

There are 6 billion folks on the planet. Even we met each and every one of them, we aren't going to like them all, and they aren't all going to like us. That's okay. It's normal. Not everyone is as awesome as we are.