Legaia 2 Progress Part 1: In Which I Play About Six Minutes And Write Too Damn Much.

[xyzzysqrl]

Disc goes into the PS2, and in a couple of minutes I've got the Red Title Screen of Destiny (or some damn thing) in front of me. It's been a -long- time since I last tried to play this game, and about all I remember is that it involves crystals and the battle system makes my brain ache vaguely. This could also be Final Fantasy 5, in other words. Deliberately ignoring the "Scenes of Plot To Come" demo the game has gone into while I've been typing this, I slap start and wait.

The game starts with us looking down at a small lake, which a camera angle change shows us is generated by a waterfall dribbling from a hovering blue crystal. Well hey, there we go. My memory is NOT in fact full of holes. Never mind that I can't remember my birthdate nine times out of ten, or that guessing "Magical crystals" will be involved in a console RPG plot is about as safe a bid as "Brooding hero" or "Spiritual Healer". I can remember stuff good!

Meanwhile, the camera gets bored of scoping out the hovering crystal action and has wandered uphill through a town to fix its mono-lensed gaze upon a house, inside which is a moving figure. This, we quickly learn, is "Nancy". She wears an apron over a turtleneck sweater and she slaps open a door to yell at... someone behind the camera... for being in bed in spite of having work today.

It's hard to say why, but the vast majority of Japanese RPGs and quite a few anime include scenes where the protagenist oversleeps horribly. That the off-screen character IS our protagenist is soon proven as Nancy walks up alongside a sleeping figure and begins beating a stick against a bucket to awaken him.

Let's check out our hero, shall we? He's got dark blue hair, a red sort of jacket thing with a high, stiff collar that would seal his mouth closed if he did the buckles on it (and leaves his chest totally bare for the duration, showing off his MANLY TATTOO), and blue jeans. Oh, and really fricking huge boots, which you'll have to take my word on.

Here's one of the bits I like about this game. The game gives me a choice: As Nancy flails girlishly at her bucket, I can A: Stay in bed, B: Leap out of bed in a panic, or C: Wake up normally.

Ladies and gentlemen, as the High Lord Woofenpants would attest to, when I am awakened I scream and leap for the ceiling as if someone had just tried to cut my hair with a chainsaw. I see no reason why my digital avatar should do any differently. Option B it is. So our hero leaps up, stammering and sputtering like a moron, and Nancy wanders off after chewing him out for oversleeping. I now have control over...

*check status screen*

"???".

The Bare Chested Avenger it is, then.

So the BCA explores his bedroom. He keeps Heal Powder in the dresser, as do all of us. He also refuses to go back to sleep, fearful of what Nancy will do to him. As his words carry the weight of one who has been beaten near-senseless with a bucket on previous occasions, I believe him and wander off down the hall of his all-wood house. Raiding the rooms of people I don't know is always my favorite part of RPGs, and I manage to snag a Poison Cure and Point Card (which I assume I can get stamped eight times and cash in for a free eggroll sometime later) out of people's dresser drawers.

I also find an old man named Hawke, who tells me to get the hell outside. Ladies and gentlemen, subtle plot hints abound in these riviting first fifteen minutes. Outside I go then.

Out the door and I'm treated to an awkward-looking kid who looks kind of like the Bare Chested Avenger thrusting energeticly. With a sword, I mean. Cut through about four or five people doing awkward chops and cuts at the air. Cut back to the BCA staring at them blankly. Nancy hauls off and kicks his ass out the door. I'm kind of getting to like her.

Meet Galvan. He's beardy, he's dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans (Where do they GET all these jeans, anyway?) and his beard is connected to his hair via his sideburns. He looks like if he'd lift his arms there'd be sweat stains a-plenty. Galvan calls his valiently-hacking students to a halt. I'm the New Kid, and get to introduce myself!

Three more choices. "Introduce Yourself", "Act Cool" or "Introductions are Lame". Since the Bare Chested Avenger is already en-route to being a world class doof, I can't help but pick the last selection.

BCA: "Sorry, man. I don't feel like dealing with that kind of stuff today."
Galvan hauls off and smacks the BCA upside the back of his head, short-circuiting any further slacker mumblings.

Name screen time. I've always wondered why exactly name screens include symbols. I can maybe understand numbers, in case your heroic vision includes a name like "Gr8 Guy". But why the four common math signs? Should I really name the Great Warrior 1+1=2? Is long division acceptable? And what can you really say about a man who insists that he's named Musical Note Smiley Face Ampersand Dollar Sign?

(And colon-semicolon too!)

The default name is Lang. I am having none of that. "Lang" sounds like a generic martial arts hero name. I need a name that encapsulates the personality of this no doubt fine and mighty human being.

I dub him "Chesty".

Bring on the world saving.