Let the Woofie Win.

So I'm poking around in our cabinets and I find one of those bear-shaped honey dispensers. Hee, I think. This one has big wide scared-looking eyes. I take the dispenser into the next room.

Sqrl: "Wooooof. Why does this bear look so traumatized? Is there something I should know?"
Woof, setting down book: "Yes. Yes there is."
Sqrl: "...really?"
Woof: "Yes. Later today I'm going to turn that bear upside down, grab him around the belly, and squeeze him so hard the contents of his head will go -splutch- all over my plate."
Sqrl: "...uh."
Woof: "And then I'm going to eat them on toast, or maybe on chicken. WITH MY BARE HANDS."
Sqrl: "...!"
Woof: "Is there anything else you want to know?"
Sqrl: "...nnnno I'm gonna go in the other room now."


...sometimes, let's face it, he just wins in these little dialogues.