I am pissed off today.

Okay. Russian people. This is like the only place on the web that still has my ICQ number on it, so I assume you're all getting it from my profile here. So.

Russian people.

I realize you must be longing for the textual caress of my instant messages. My keyboard is of an impressive size and interesting shape, and my verbal output is quite tremendous. I can understand the appeal. Sometimes it feels as if the entire English speaking population of Earth has my IM information and they're all trying to get my attention at once. I can accept that.

But the "English speaking" part is IMPORTANT. If you IM me in Russian and send me a Russian invite to join your IM list, I will turn it down. Because I don't actually speak Russian. I can't tell if you want to bask in the radiance of my AIM output or if you want to sell me viagra and sleazy webcams. And I'm just not interested in either of those things.

So STOP FREAKING IM-ING ME ALREADY.

This goes for whoever that Spanish dude is who always sends me three lines of spanish and a smiley face, too. I don't speak Spanish either.