Jun. 7th, 2017

xyzzysqrl: (Sqrl Barbarian)
For the last while, we've had two CDs in our car, both by a metal band called Gloryhammer who have a really impressive and goofy and impressively goofy mythos built up around the band and in the songs. Since we've listened to them on loop for hours at this point, we often discuss said mythos. As such, this post will be intelligible to like five people I know.

In the car this most recent outing, we discussed the end of "Rise of the Chaos Wizards", the great Apocalypse of 1992.

SQRL: "I can't help but feel like this is the big shift after you've bought the expansion pack. Like you've played a campaign and a half as the Forces of Fife and now it's time to pick up Zargothrax's Army of Chaos and just lay waste to all those NPCs you were just playing as."

WOOF: "I see it more like... you had this RPG campaign with the heroes, and you did an RTS game with the big epic battle clash... and then Zargothrax is like a Wizard from Diablo 3, he's just flying around doing damage in the billions and waiting for his portal to open."

SQRL: "All the balance of a Peter Molyneux game. 'Do you ever have to STOP casting fireball?' 'No.' 'I mean like to recharge mana or...' 'No.'"

WOOF: "And then the Hootsman..."

SQRL: "Like a platformer level to get there in time."

WOOF: "All 8-bit, he's just like a big square with wolf-armor ears poking up."

SQRL: "Of course Angus McFife the 13th power-leveled fighting goblins on the Moon and he has all this twinked equipment from his previous character. Including a dragon that AT SOME POINT gained the ability to turn into a spaceship I guess."

WOOF: "In my headcanon..."

SQRL: "Oh boy."

WOOF: "...it could ALWAYS turn into a spaceship because it was always this giant robotic dragon with like... metal scales and claws, and all. It's just that in the old days they didn't really... notice, y'know? It was magic..."

SQRL: "I love this. So the scroll Angus reads in 'Magic Dragon' to bind the dragon, you translate it and it's just "I ACCEPT THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF THE LICENSE AGREEMENT" and the dragon's like beep boop software registered to McFife, Angus."

WOOF: "Yeah like that."

*silence*

WOOF: "Anyway now you have me thinking of the bonus level which is Zargothrax being chased by this hammer-wielding lunatic who just won't leave him alone."

Gloryhammer are great by the way. Check them out sometime.

(And if y'all have any suggestions for OTHER bands with a Strong Metaplot, let me know.)

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