May. 7th, 2017

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You know, there's this whole genre that I keep forgetting exists. It's one I just regard as alien every time I think about it. On the game box it probably says something like Psygnosis or Bitmap Brothers or Titus or ImageWorks. It looks like the kind of game you'd like, so you give it a try and it's this weird thing from a dimension where fairness was never invented.

The jumping is weird, the combat feels like you're swinging at nothing. Slowly you start to have a good time in spite of yourself, but you're kind of relieved when something better comes along. You desperately want to put the experience behind you.

The word I'm trying to find here is "Amiga". Cast of the Seven Godsends feels like an Amigaized "homage to" Ghouls & Ghosts. It is hard as hell. It does not know what fair even IS. It's gorgeous and has nice but forgettable music.

Maybe the best thing about this game was the absolutely MAJESTIC translation from Italian, which I documented extensively on Twitter.

I present an image gallery of the finest moments.

When I beat the game, I was playing on Easy. The "ending" was therefore a three-second clip of the main character flopping around in CDi Zelda style.

I'll take it. I really did have a good time with this in spite of what it sounds like, and apparently the team was like... two guys who enjoy platformers. As such I kind of reccomend this if you like the Ghouls & Ghosts formula, because it isn't actually awful! It's just... alien.

...oh hey and all the achievements are bugged, so I didn't get credit for anything. Pfft.

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